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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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Enid.

4
00:00:32,783 --> 00:00:33,659
Enid, darling.

5
00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:35,160
Oh!

6
00:00:35,244 --> 00:00:39,873
Oh, Edna! Oh, thank goodness you've come.
Never mind, dear.

7
00:00:39,957 --> 00:00:42,352
I'm sorry I'm late, the plane from
Melbourne was held up. Hello, Barry.

8
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:46,797
Hello, Auntie Edna. He's gone.
He's gone! I know, dear.

9
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:50,759
You've had a big prop pulled from underneath
you, pet. What am I going to do without him?

10
00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:55,556
In the midst of life... Mrs McKenzie?
Mr Hopkinson will see you now.

11
00:00:55,639 --> 00:01:00,435
Thank you. Be strong and brave.
Yes, I'll try.

12
00:01:00,519 --> 00:01:04,940
Ah, Mrs McKenzie, do sit down.
How do you do? I'm Mrs Everage.

13
00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:06,567
Barry, thank you

14
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:14,116
And to you, Barrington
Bradman Bing McKenzie,

15
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:18,287
I bequeath the sum of $2000
on condition that you leave

16
00:01:18,370 --> 00:01:22,124
for the United Kingdom
immediately to further

17
00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:26,920
the cultural and intellectual
traditions of the McKenzie dynasty.

18
00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:32,175
Strewth! Who'd want to go to the dump where all
them pom migrants are leaving in their millions?

19
00:01:33,885 --> 00:01:37,472
Suppose all them dollars are better than a
poke in the eye with a burnt stick, eh, Auntie?

20
00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:45,689
RADIO ON I know, but we'll
both tell him together.

21
00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:52,446
MUSIC PLAYS

22
00:01:56,700 --> 00:02:02,456
Let me do it, Barry. She's apples, Mum. You relax
and put your feet up, give your veins a rest.

23
00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:05,334
Get your underwear, dear.

24
00:02:10,589 --> 00:02:13,258
And don't forget to change them
every day either, Barry.

25
00:02:13,342 --> 00:02:14,676
Geez, come off it, Mum.

26
00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:17,220
No man knoweth the hour, dear.

27
00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:21,099
Aunt Edna and I have been having
a chinwag and...

28
00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:23,685
I'm going to London with you,
Barry.

29
00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:26,355
Come again?
I'm going to London with you!

30
00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:32,444
Barry, seriously - I've promised myself a trip to the
old country ever since my husband Norm's little op.

31
00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:35,364
Our family came from Britain
many moons ago, you know.

32
00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:38,825
Lucky they did. Immigration laws
are a bloody sight tougher now.

33
00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:42,412
Any way Barry, I won't be interfering
with your private life. Heaven forbid!

34
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:49,378
My dear friend and bridesmaid Madge Allsop is in
England now and we just can't wait to see each other.

35
00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:52,089
Hurry up, Edna, we'll but late!
Come on, Auntie!

36
00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:57,386
Sorry, pet. I just bought you
a new, lovely, Qantas kitbag.

37
00:02:57,469 --> 00:03:00,639
A Qantas bag of my own.
We'll miss the plane.

38
00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:05,936
Don't forget to change your
underwear every day. Come off it!

39
00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:12,734
'Flight 530 for London is boarding
immediately from gate two.

40
00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:16,071
'This is your final call.'

41
00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:37,467
Good morning, sir.
Is there anything you'd like?

42
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:43,223
Too right there is - a Ned Kelly whiskey and a swift naughty
in the dunnies as soon as the no smoking light goes out

43
00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:50,397
Fellas!

44
00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:52,941
See ya!

45
00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:56,987
I don't think they can hear me,
Auntie.

46
00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:10,417
See you, Mum!

47
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:22,179
ANGELIC CHOIR: ♪ Bar-ry...

48
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:27,517
♪ McKen-zie! ♪

49
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,312
Ta.

50
00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:16,399
I'm that hungry I could eat a horse
and chase the jockey. That's lovely.

51
00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:29,079
CHINESE STYLE MUSIC PLAYS

52
00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:59,234
ANGELIC CHOIR: ♪ Bar-ry...

53
00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:04,322
♪ McKenzie! ♪

54
00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:17,711
SNORING

55
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,800
'We are now landing at
London's Heathrow airport.

56
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:26,803
'Have your disembarkation papers,
customs clearance slips,

57
00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:30,557
'currency control vouchers,
passports, tickets, identity dockets,

58
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,351
'travel orders, immigrations
tickets, temporary visas,

59
00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:37,606
'racial origin certificates, baggage
cheques, leprosy immunisation cards

60
00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:40,859
'and security clearances ready
for inspection, please.'

61
00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:49,075
Hey, Auntie. This trip isn't the full two bob.
You can't even see the flaming white cliffs!

62
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:54,372
Hang about, lads. Another plane load of
those bleeding convicts on their way in.

63
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:09,179
Oh, excuse I, Barry, I'm just going to
declare that jumbo-sized bottle of My Sin.

64
00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:12,265
See you, See you, Baz.

65
00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:23,109
Good morning, sir.
Anything to declare?

66
00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:24,694
No, not really.

67
00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:28,239
Well, I picked up this little
lot on the way over. Yes, sir.

68
00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:30,659
We'll see, shall we?

69
00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:36,790
A transistor radio, mechanical
toy, typewriter, Hong Kong watch,

70
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:40,752
that'll be £234...

71
00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:45,799
£234.55... 57... 58 and one
half new penny, please, sir.

72
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:48,551
Stone the crows! That's over
a week's work where I come from!

73
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,095
Yes, sir.

74
00:07:51,930 --> 00:07:53,431
What about this camera, sir?

75
00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:56,476
Fair go, that's a present from me
Auntie Edna, you hungry pommy...

76
00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:59,312
That sort of language'll get you
nowhere, sir!

77
00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:02,565
There's fif...

78
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:05,110
Seventy pounds import duty
on this item, sir.

79
00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:09,489
Don't come the raw prawn! I only got the bloody
thing to take slides of the Queen and Phil the Greek

80
00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:12,784
and a few other pommy ruins.
That's the law, sir. £70.

81
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,870
What have you got in this case?

82
00:08:15,954 --> 00:08:17,539
Personal effects.

83
00:08:24,713 --> 00:08:29,259
Just a few tubes of ice cold Fosters. Don't tell
me you're going to make something out of that!

84
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,970
I'm afraid I shall have to
confiscate this lot, sir.

85
00:08:41,813 --> 00:08:44,107
TILL CHINGS AND WHIRRS

86
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:47,027
Oh, Barry, where have you been?
You've been as slow as a wet week.

87
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:51,614
You wouldn't read about it, Auntie. I wouldn't
have minded if the bastard had been civil.

88
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:55,160
When it comes to fleecing you, the
poms have got the edge on the gypos.

89
00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:18,516
Listen to this, Barry - "Princess
Anne was born on 15th August 1950."

90
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:21,686
"She was always a tomboy,
hating to play with dollies,”

91
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:26,191
"but expert at climbing trees while
her brother watched from below."

92
00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:43,833
BAGPIPES PLAY

93
00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:49,172
Strike me pink!

94
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:52,634
Hey! Aren't we at Earl's
Court yet?

95
00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:54,677
This is taking longer
than the plane trip.

96
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:58,014
Nearly there, guv.
Stupid pommy bastard.

97
00:09:58,098 --> 00:10:02,310
Oh, Barry, was that altogether
necessary, dear?

98
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,689
No wonder poor old Phil's always
shooting through.

99
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,733
What a dump for the royals
to live in!

100
00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:12,946
It'll be beaut to see the old
Curly again, Auntie. Curly?

101
00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:14,823
What's he doing in the old
country?

102
00:10:14,906 --> 00:10:19,410
Well, for the past couple of years he's been
bludging down at Australia House in Strand Street.

103
00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:22,539
Real cushy job, he reckons.
Piss-up every day, no probs.

104
00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:29,462
Strewth! That airport must
have been in bloody Woop Woop.

105
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:33,800
What's the damage, sport?
Let's see...

106
00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:36,803
Extra passenger, use of luggage
rack,

107
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:42,600
hire of ashtrays, over the five
mile limit, afternoon driving tax,

108
00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:48,982
conversation surcharge,
windscreen wiper depreciation...

109
00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:51,234
that'll be 68 new pounds, guv.

110
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:55,238
68 quid?! Stone the crows,
that's bloody highway robbery.

111
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:57,198
Hey, Bazza!

112
00:10:57,282 --> 00:11:00,493
Curly, you old bastard!
I wasn't sure if you'd be home.

113
00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:04,664
What are you doing? Taking a sickie, you bludger,
or did they give you the sack at Australia House?

114
00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:09,127
Those dozy bastards wouldn't know a
tram was up them until the bell rang.

115
00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:12,050
Hang on, I'll be down faster than a
whore's drawers on a Saturday night.

116
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,594
Don't rupture yourself, Barry.

117
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:21,264
Bazza! Curls! Bazza!

118
00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:23,558
Geez, it's beaut to see you,
Curl.

119
00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:27,395
What's this? What's this with the hair?
Look like a hippie poof!

120
00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:30,690
Hey, and what's this? Growing a bit
of scrub around the waterhole?

121
00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:34,277
Ah, you bastard, get off my back or
I'll give you a knuckle sandwich.

122
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,905
Excuse I, Barry!

123
00:11:36,988 --> 00:11:40,325
Hang on a second, you silly dag,
while I square off this fourby two.

124
00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:46,414
All right, here's your money.
Hope it chokes you.

125
00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:49,000
68 quid.

126
00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:52,170
70 quid now, guv. I'm not sitting
here for my bleedin' health.

127
00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:57,091
Stop bickering and pay the little person. I
have to get to Madge's. All right, Auntie.

128
00:11:57,175 --> 00:12:02,055
Hang on to your purse. These poms
charge like a wounded bull. Oh!

129
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:04,140
Why don't you go back to
Australia?!

130
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:06,517
Go back to Israel yourself,
you lkey Mo!

131
00:12:06,601 --> 00:12:08,728
Don't forget to give me a
tingle.

132
00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:17,862
Hungry Arab. Would have dropped the bastard
if he wasn't qualified for the pension.

133
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:19,739
Let's go in, mate, eh?

134
00:12:19,822 --> 00:12:22,533
Er... Hang on a tick, Bazza.

135
00:12:22,617 --> 00:12:25,912
Er... Listen, mate...

136
00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:32,252
I picked up a sort at the party the other
night SO my joint's a bit on the crowded side.

137
00:12:32,335 --> 00:12:36,756
But no worries, I lined you up a beaut little
place around the corner to drop your swag.

138
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:39,968
Be on me Pat Malone, eh mate?
Geez, if it was raining virgins,

139
00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:42,345
I'd be washed down the gutter
with a poofter.

140
00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:52,730
Rag and bone!

141
00:12:53,564 --> 00:12:58,987
This is the place, mate. A nice
little area, this, lot of character.

142
00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:02,824
Rag and bone!

143
00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:09,998
"Pakistani vicar's teeth found
in nude nun's thigh.”

144
00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:12,500
PHONE RINGS

145
00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:19,132
"I had four Guinesses and everything
went black, says..." Page six.

146
00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:23,261
Six... Six...

147
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:26,431
"The magistrate told the
jury..”

148
00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:29,434
I've come for the room for
me mate McKenzie. Ah!

149
00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:31,978
You know, from Australia.
Ah, well... Oh!

150
00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:34,981
<i>NMcKrenzie. NMcKrenzie, yes.
I'll...</i>

151
00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:38,693
HE COUGHS
..I'll show you to your suite.

152
00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:41,863
Welcome to England.
HE COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS

153
00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:43,197
HE COUGHS

154
00:13:43,281 --> 00:13:44,824
Oh bugger!

155
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:47,910
Oh, it's only crap.
Just step over it.

156
00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:53,207
The bathroom's in the basement,
the toilet's on the sixth floor,

157
00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:58,504
luxury breakfast - luxury -
served from 6am to five past,

158
00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:01,382
nobody... except on Sundays!

159
00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:04,510
Nobody in the rooms...
..Hello, darling. Had enough?

160
00:14:04,594 --> 00:14:08,514
Nobody in the rooms after 7
o'clock, lights out by 8 o'clock

161
00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:12,977
and you adjust your dress before leaving
because we got a very hungry dog about.

162
00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:16,773
We're going to give you the Winston
Churchill Memorial Suite here,

163
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,650
and we like three weeks rent
in advance

164
00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:23,154
and a deposit on the Gideon
Bib...

165
00:14:23,237 --> 00:14:25,615
It's been knocked orf.
Jamaicans!

166
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:31,704
You have to pay a deposit on it. Like it?
One coat of Dulux done this.

167
00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:35,416
Er, that'll be... see now...
43 guineas for this suite, sir.

168
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:38,795
No need to call me "sweet", sir.
Barry McKenzie's the name, mate.

169
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:41,172
An ordinary working man
like yourself.

170
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,300
I might have close to 700 quid
on me at the moment

171
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:47,553
but that's the result of four weeks
hard slogging down the snowy.

172
00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:50,723
Oh! Oh, what's on the go? Don't tell
me we've got a flaming air raid!

173
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:53,893
I do some of me best work
in the dark. It's all right.

174
00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:58,648
It's the... the meter on your luxury
chandelier is short of the lob.

175
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:04,487
Have you got a pound on you? I'll...
A pound? Just a little pound.

176
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,740
I'll show you how to put it
in the meter.

177
00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:10,993
This one...

178
00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:12,578
CLUNK!

179
00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:14,747
Oh, just hold that torch, will
you?

180
00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:21,963
Ah, there you are! Don't forget,

181
00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:23,381
just put one of those in

182
00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:24,841
every 20 minutes.

183
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,801
And... the...

184
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:30,012
The rent of the advance.

185
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:32,640
Huh? We have to have advance of
the rent here sir

186
00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:34,767
Oh the money? OK. Yes, yes Sir.

187
00:15:34,851 --> 00:15:38,813
It a... It's one of the
longstanding policies.

188
00:15:38,896 --> 00:15:41,399
Ever since Churchill...

189
00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:47,864
Bloody Poms would take the
harness off a nightmare.

190
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:50,908
Take it easy Bazza. C'mon let's
meet some of the fellas.

191
00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:08,968
Good little pub this, mate,
where all the Aussies drink.

192
00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:13,598
All right, fellas? Bazza!

193
00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:18,186
THEY GREET EACH OTHER

194
00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:23,149
RAUCOUS GREETINGS

195
00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:26,694
You old bastard! Are you kidding me?
Of course!

196
00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:30,823
Hey, listen, we want you to try
a local drop now you're here.

197
00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:34,118
I've heard it's dish water. No!

198
00:16:34,202 --> 00:16:36,370
No, it's great, mate.

199
00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:39,874
Go on. Youse wouldn't put
me wrong, would ya? No!

200
00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:41,542
All right.

201
00:16:42,752 --> 00:16:45,963
Hm... Terrific. Beautiful.
I don't know.

202
00:16:46,047 --> 00:16:47,632
Get it down!

203
00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:53,638
Bah! I've been poisoned!

204
00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:58,351
It's as warm as piss! Come on, stop mucking
around and give us a decent chilled Fosters.

205
00:17:07,485 --> 00:17:08,736
That's more like it.

206
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:15,493
I really needed that. I was as
dry as a dead dingo's donger.

207
00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:18,079
Listen, mate, that pom stuff's
piss.

208
00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:23,000
Geez, it's great to have you around, Bazza. There's
a whole lot of the old Parra-bloody-matta mob here.

209
00:17:23,084 --> 00:17:29,257
Jonno, Matesy, Stanno, Spaz, Scissors, Malloy and
some of the sheilas are real humdingers. Yeah?

210
00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:32,843
Got any lead in your pencil?
I'm gonna choke one. See ya.

211
00:17:39,475 --> 00:17:42,687
Well, how's the trip, mate?
Any stop-overs?

212
00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:48,359
Couple of days in Honkers. A lot of tinted bastards
there, Curly. Boy, have they got a colour problem!

213
00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:54,699
What a fantastic bunch of bastards on the plane,
though. We demolished the old tubes, that's for sure.

214
00:17:56,742 --> 00:18:00,705
Got a bit rough over the Hima-bloody-layas.
One of the blokes started chundering.

215
00:18:00,788 --> 00:18:03,583
One fella near me yodling
his jelly and ice cream.

216
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:08,754
Eh, did you get your end in?

217
00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:14,218
Come again? Aw, don't come the Uncle Crustacean with
me, Baz, did you get the dirty water off your chest?

218
00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:17,847
I hear some of them air hostesses are
pretty keen for the old fella. You reckon?

219
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:21,642
Yeah, pretty often it's the captain
that dips his wick. How's that?

220
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:28,190
I remember the boat I came over on was full of nurses,
they used to bang like an outhouse door in a gale.

221
00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:32,862
One of the officers gave me the good oil on
that. He was English but a real nice bastard.

222
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:37,325
He reckoned you could always pick the
sheilas that come across easy. How's that?

223
00:18:37,408 --> 00:18:40,661
They're the ones cried when they
said goodbye to their boyfriends.

224
00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:43,873
All the officers lined up at every
port spotting the sheilas that howled.

225
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:47,918
Fantastic! That night they were in there
like a rat up a drainpipe. Beautiful.

226
00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:55,801
Hey, Bazza. Aw, cripes! You'd
have to be pulling my leg, mate.

227
00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:59,347
Don't tell me with all those flaming
stop-overs you never cracked it.

228
00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:02,099
Think I'd tell you,
you randy bastard?

229
00:19:02,183 --> 00:19:07,021
Of course I did. Some of the sheilas on the flight
gave me their addresses to look 'em up over here.

230
00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:10,566
They reckoned they'd never had such
a good time in all their lives.

231
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:15,279
They were dreading the pommy blokes, cos they
don't like it plain and simple over here.

232
00:19:15,363 --> 00:19:17,114
Yeah. It's the truth.

233
00:19:17,198 --> 00:19:20,910
Geez, it's great having you around, mate.
Excuse me...

234
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,870
My name's Groove Courtenay.

235
00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:26,582
Don't tell me your problems, mate.
No, really.

236
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:30,127
I'm from Transmedia Enterprises.
I have a proposition to make.

237
00:19:30,211 --> 00:19:32,755
A bloody poofter. Hey fellas,
a pom poof!

238
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:35,841
THEY JEER

239
00:19:35,925 --> 00:19:38,260
Let's go somewhere we can talk,
eh?

240
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:41,180
BLOKES JEER

241
00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:43,557
Eh, keep your back to the bar,
mate.

242
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:52,274
OK, sport, give us the drum, but make it snappy.
I've got a lot of drinking to catch up on.

243
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:56,612
Well, my agency has the account
for the new High Camp cigalettes.

244
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:59,281
It's great having him back.
Beautiful, eh?

245
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:05,413
Mr McKenzie, I have been watching you for some
time and you've got just the image we need -

246
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:11,293
rugged, unconventional, he-man, touch of the
outback, just what our English viewers want.

247
00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:13,087
Aw, thanks very much, sport.

248
00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:15,172
Any of that golden green stuff
in this deal?

249
00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:17,859
Oh I'm sure we can make it worth your
while, if you could um just come along...

250
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:20,803
to that studio, 10 o'clock
tomorrow morning.

251
00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:24,098
We'll get you a costume. It'll
be kind of strong sort of...

252
00:20:24,181 --> 00:20:26,684
Hey uh, what's on the go mate?

253
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:31,397
Well till tomorrow morning Mr
McKenzie.

254
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,107
What did that poofter bloke
want?

255
00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:35,985
Well he wants me to be in some
film commercial or something.

256
00:20:41,323 --> 00:20:43,534
Good luck, mate. Thanks, Curl.

257
00:20:47,621 --> 00:20:52,001
Super cossy, love, really nice. Yeah,
well, I feel a bit of a drongo.

258
00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:56,046
Hope none of my mates see me in this
outfit. They'll reckon I've turned poofter.

259
00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:58,466
What have I got to do?
It's easy, Bazza.

260
00:20:58,549 --> 00:21:01,135
All you do is ride in... Ride
in?!

261
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:04,805
Yes, you Australians are such
fabulous horsemen. Oh, yeah.

262
00:21:04,889 --> 00:21:11,771
Then, you kneel down on this beautiful mountain
and you offer our High Camp cigalette to Caroline.

263
00:21:11,854 --> 00:21:13,355
Who's that?

264
00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:21,030
Caroline, love, this is Barry McKenzie, the
sun-bronzed Anzac I told you about. Super!

265
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:22,281
Please to meet you.

266
00:21:22,364 --> 00:21:25,409
Eh, what a colossal bit of
skirt!

267
00:21:25,493 --> 00:21:27,787
Look, this is what you do,
Bazza.

268
00:21:27,870 --> 00:21:30,247
Look at Caroline and say,

269
00:21:30,331 --> 00:21:37,630
"Have a High Camp filter - firm in your fingers and
cool between your lips.” It's pretty easy, isn't it?

270
00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:40,508
Is that all? No probs.

271
00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:42,968
I'll give it a burl.

272
00:21:43,052 --> 00:21:44,929
High Camp one, take one. Action.

273
00:21:45,012 --> 00:21:47,515
♪ High Camp! ♪

274
00:21:47,598 --> 00:21:50,601
ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS

275
00:21:59,193 --> 00:22:00,611
Have a High Camp.

276
00:22:00,694 --> 00:22:04,824
Like, they're, er... firm in your
lips and cool between your fingers.

277
00:22:04,907 --> 00:22:06,242
Cut! We'll try another.

278
00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:08,327
High Camp one, take two. Action!

279
00:22:08,410 --> 00:22:13,040
Have a High Camp - cool in your
fingers and tight in your mouth.

280
00:22:13,123 --> 00:22:14,291
Cut!

281
00:22:19,463 --> 00:22:21,841
199. Action, Barry.

282
00:22:21,924 --> 00:22:23,509
Try a High Camp filter.

283
00:22:23,592 --> 00:22:26,220
They're cool in your mouth
and firm between your hips.

284
00:22:28,013 --> 00:22:30,057
Dig that crazy ad-lib.

285
00:22:30,140 --> 00:22:33,894
It knocks the oral-sadistic approach
bit, right between the eyes

286
00:22:35,271 --> 00:22:37,356
Well, didn't I tell you this boy
had class?

287
00:22:37,439 --> 00:22:39,650
This ad will sell a million.

288
00:22:40,609 --> 00:22:41,902
Congratulations.

289
00:22:41,986 --> 00:22:47,157
Look, can I get out of these tight strides now?
They're ruining me future. Sure, great suggestion.

290
00:22:49,118 --> 00:22:53,831
I'm glad that's over, Carol. Could
really go a couple of nice cold ales.

291
00:22:55,165 --> 00:22:58,794
Er, look, what say you and
me get together some time?

292
00:22:58,878 --> 00:23:00,963
Mm, super.

293
00:23:02,047 --> 00:23:03,299
Where do you hang out?

294
00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:09,388
3702660, and I'd love to see
you some time... Bazza.

295
00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:12,558
Bye, Barry. Give me a tingle.

296
00:23:12,641 --> 00:23:15,561
Hey, Curl.

297
00:23:18,063 --> 00:23:19,857
Got a Biro?

298
00:23:19,940 --> 00:23:21,775
Er, yeah, mate.

299
00:23:22,860 --> 00:23:24,904
Seems a bit of all right, eh?

300
00:23:27,573 --> 00:23:29,992
Yeah, I'm doing all right
with that pommy sheila, mate.

301
00:23:30,075 --> 00:23:33,579
I've heard they don't like it
simple like good Australian lasses.

302
00:23:33,662 --> 00:23:36,040
Yeah, that's for sure, mate.
Hey...

303
00:23:36,540 --> 00:23:39,835
You ought to go along to one of
them bookshops and get one of them

304
00:23:39,919 --> 00:23:42,713
Indian hygiene magazines,
do a bit of swotting up.

305
00:23:42,796 --> 00:23:44,673
Might just do that, Curl.

306
00:24:16,622 --> 00:24:19,208
'Geez, I've blown me dough
on some long-winded yarn

307
00:24:19,291 --> 00:24:23,087
'about a couple of slant-eyed
ratbags called Yoni and Lingam.

308
00:24:23,170 --> 00:24:26,215
'What kind of hygienic
publication is this?'

309
00:24:39,728 --> 00:24:41,981
Oh, geez, I'm shagged out.

310
00:24:44,566 --> 00:24:47,319
'There must be an easier way of
tickling a girl's fancy.

311
00:24:47,861 --> 00:24:49,238
'Hang on, what's this?

312
00:24:49,321 --> 00:24:54,618
"If a man after anointing his lingam
with the sprouts of the vaginisi,"

313
00:24:54,702 --> 00:24:59,957
"dips it in ghee, then rubs on the
juice of crushed voteprahanta leaves"

314
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:05,379
"and then engages in the congress of the
bee, he makes her subject to his will."

315
00:25:09,216 --> 00:25:11,510
Ah, look, sport,
I wonder if you can help.

316
00:25:11,593 --> 00:25:15,264
Could you give us half a pound
of vagishnanti plant sprouts,

317
00:25:15,347 --> 00:25:21,854
a tin of ghee, a packet of vot... voteprahanta
leaves, a half a dozen shadvanstra...

318
00:25:21,937 --> 00:25:25,441
HE SPEAKS HINDI

319
00:25:25,524 --> 00:25:30,821
No, I'm sorry, sir. There has been
quite a run on exotic spices.

320
00:25:30,904 --> 00:25:34,450
Oh. Strewth, now I'm really
in the poo.

321
00:25:34,533 --> 00:25:37,494
Oh, well, look, in that case, you'd
better give us some chutney,

322
00:25:37,578 --> 00:25:41,915
some rice, er... throw in some
mustard, some mixed herbs

323
00:25:41,999 --> 00:25:46,378
and chuck in a couple of cans of
extra strong prawn and beef curry.

324
00:25:51,216 --> 00:25:55,429
Once she cops an eyefull of me sexy groceries,
she won't tumble it's me first time.

325
00:25:56,055 --> 00:25:58,098
DOORBELL

326
00:26:01,727 --> 00:26:03,854
Barry! Here, Carol. Super!

327
00:26:03,937 --> 00:26:05,939
Come in, darling. Yeah, well...

328
00:26:06,023 --> 00:26:07,608
Come on! Right.

329
00:26:12,196 --> 00:26:14,865
Jeez! You've got a beaut
little place here, Carol.

330
00:26:14,948 --> 00:26:17,993
I feel a full, wild
bit tonight, Barry.

331
00:26:18,786 --> 00:26:20,621
Strewth!

332
00:26:20,704 --> 00:26:22,664
You're a flamin' fast worker,
Carol!

333
00:26:22,748 --> 00:26:24,750
Something tells me
I'm not the first.

334
00:26:24,833 --> 00:26:28,253
You'll be the first to give me a
taste of what it's like down under.

335
00:26:30,547 --> 00:26:33,509
Come on, darling,
let's slip into the sheets.

336
00:26:34,134 --> 00:26:36,428
Ah... Look, Carol, to save time,

337
00:26:36,512 --> 00:26:39,264
while I'm anointing the ole lingam
with this beef and prawn curry,

338
00:26:39,348 --> 00:26:41,642
you get stuck into this
cinnamon and mixed herbs.

339
00:26:41,725 --> 00:26:44,853
All right? We can have a crack
at the congress of the ant.

340
00:26:49,483 --> 00:26:52,152
Get that kinky
Aussie gear off, Barry.

341
00:27:18,345 --> 00:27:19,763
Come on, darling.

342
00:27:19,847 --> 00:27:22,099
I'm all ready for you.

343
00:27:22,182 --> 00:27:23,475
Wait a sec, Carol.

344
00:27:23,559 --> 00:27:26,687
I'll be finished with the exotic
aphrodisies in a few jiffs.

345
00:27:36,780 --> 00:27:38,699
No wonder they've got a famine
problem in India

346
00:27:38,782 --> 00:27:40,450
if this is what they do
with their tucker.

347
00:27:43,162 --> 00:27:45,914
Hey, Carol,
I hope you're not a vegetarian.

348
00:27:45,998 --> 00:27:50,043
I'm kinky for beef, sweetie,
but not the tinned variety.

349
00:28:01,054 --> 00:28:02,764
<i>Mmm!</i>

350
00:28:05,893 --> 00:28:08,854
Let's put out the light.
I think you're shy.

351
00:28:08,937 --> 00:28:10,731
Shy? Not me.

352
00:28:10,814 --> 00:28:13,942
Just can't sleep with the bulb
glaring, that's all.

353
00:28:14,026 --> 00:28:17,154
Barry, what are you
thinking about, darling?

354
00:28:17,237 --> 00:28:22,576
I've gotta be down at the bank in New South Wales
a sparrow fart in the morning to collect my mail.

355
00:28:22,659 --> 00:28:24,161
What's the hassle, darling?

356
00:28:24,244 --> 00:28:26,705
We've still got all night.

357
00:28:26,788 --> 00:28:28,790
Just hold your horses for a sec,
Carol.

358
00:28:28,874 --> 00:28:31,668
I want to pop into the bathroom
and point percy at the porcelain.

359
00:28:31,752 --> 00:28:35,297
OK, McKenzie you foul mouthed
Australian swine, the game's up.

360
00:28:35,380 --> 00:28:36,381
Groove!

361
00:28:36,965 --> 00:28:40,344
I saw ya tryin' that he-man act on
Caroline while we were shooting.

362
00:28:40,427 --> 00:28:42,262
Strike me pink, a pom perve!

363
00:28:42,554 --> 00:28:46,475
I've heard about your type, flashin' their
torches on blokes in the middle of congress.

364
00:28:46,558 --> 00:28:48,435
I'll flatten ya —
You pommy bastard!

365
00:28:49,019 --> 00:28:51,647
CLATTERING

366
00:28:51,730 --> 00:28:55,734
GRUNTING

367
00:28:57,736 --> 00:28:59,613
GRUNTING

368
00:29:39,194 --> 00:29:41,029
G'day Curl. G'day mate.

369
00:29:55,877 --> 00:29:58,714
What's up Bazza? Big knockback?

370
00:29:59,047 --> 00:30:02,676
Who me? Not me mate, I've had more
nooky than you've had hot dinners.

371
00:30:09,266 --> 00:30:15,147
Still writing them poems Curl? No having a
go at a novel now Baz in my spare time.

372
00:30:15,230 --> 00:30:18,275
She's gonna be a beauty
bottler too, no worries.

373
00:30:18,358 --> 00:30:20,819
Old Morris West outta watch out.

374
00:30:20,902 --> 00:30:23,155
Go on Curl, what's it all about
mate?

375
00:30:23,238 --> 00:30:27,617
I'm working out a few of the,
traditional Australian hangups.

376
00:30:27,701 --> 00:30:33,165
Sort of um... Exploring the
infastructure of the Laurentian myth.

377
00:30:34,207 --> 00:30:40,255
It's about the conflict generated, when these
two surfboard champs become ballet dancers.

378
00:30:40,339 --> 00:30:43,800
I'm calling it "The Bloodstained
Surfboard”

379
00:30:43,884 --> 00:30:47,804
It's gonna be the great Australian novel,
and it ought to make me a million.

380
00:30:48,180 --> 00:30:51,808
There's a culture renaissance going on in
Australia at the present period of time Bazza.

381
00:30:51,892 --> 00:30:55,479
And I'm not ashamed to
be a part of it. Lovely.

382
00:30:55,562 --> 00:30:58,482
Well come on Curl, don't
hold out on the amber fluid.

383
00:31:03,195 --> 00:31:04,196
Ont

384
00:31:11,286 --> 00:31:16,666
DRUNK GIBBERISH

385
00:31:16,750 --> 00:31:19,211
She's beautiful mate...

386
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:21,463
SCREAMING

387
00:31:21,546 --> 00:31:24,966
Quit perving at the merchandise
mate. Give her a break.

388
00:31:25,050 --> 00:31:26,593
SCREAMING

389
00:31:33,266 --> 00:31:34,267
Give in.

390
00:31:39,773 --> 00:31:40,941
Where's me beer!

391
00:31:46,488 --> 00:31:48,073
It's like a bloody avalanche.

392
00:31:48,448 --> 00:31:49,449
Oi!

393
00:32:03,713 --> 00:32:04,714
Do ya give in?

394
00:32:06,091 --> 00:32:08,218
DRUNK GIBBERISH

395
00:32:27,612 --> 00:32:32,242
Oh, jeez I'm as full as a boot Curl.
Don't give me anymore for christ sake

396
00:32:32,325 --> 00:32:36,288
Or I'll park the flamin' tiger in
the loungeroom. Park the tiger?

397
00:32:36,371 --> 00:32:39,249
Don't worry Bazza, the Pope's a
jew if a stack of bastards

398
00:32:39,332 --> 00:32:42,586
haven't yodelled their hearts out
to this wall to wall already.

399
00:32:42,669 --> 00:32:45,589
Give it! Alright alright.

400
00:32:45,672 --> 00:32:48,800
Sometimes I reckon I wouldn't
win a kick in a riot.

401
00:32:51,052 --> 00:32:53,388
DOG BARKS

402
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:35,639
Christ!

403
00:33:46,191 --> 00:33:47,192
Ronald.

404
00:33:52,322 --> 00:33:54,616
What an appalling bore!

405
00:33:55,158 --> 00:33:56,844
There's a letter from one of
those Australians

406
00:33:56,868 --> 00:33:58,870
who inundated us with mouldy
raisins

407
00:33:58,954 --> 00:34:01,456
and home-made coconut ice
during the war.

408
00:34:01,540 --> 00:34:03,166
They want to come here on
Saturday.

409
00:34:03,250 --> 00:34:04,960
Do you realise that is today?

410
00:34:05,043 --> 00:34:07,963
Good lord! Well,
I'm holing up in the den.

411
00:34:08,046 --> 00:34:09,673
Oh, don't be a fool, Ronald.

412
00:34:09,756 --> 00:34:11,550
She's bringing her nephew with
her.

413
00:34:11,633 --> 00:34:15,762
He may be one of those fabulously
rich Australian shareholders.

414
00:34:15,845 --> 00:34:17,931
We've got Sarah's future
to think about.

415
00:34:21,643 --> 00:34:24,104
You be on your best behaviour
today Barry.

416
00:34:24,187 --> 00:34:27,107
Mr and Mrs Gort are probably
very comfortably off.

417
00:34:27,857 --> 00:34:30,277
You reckon they might roll out
the red fatted calf?

418
00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:34,114
Perhaps, but we musn't cross our
bridges before they've hatched.

419
00:34:35,156 --> 00:34:39,160
You give the little prezzie to Mrs Gort
will you Barry? There's a good boy.

420
00:34:41,246 --> 00:34:44,207
Sarah. Sarah!

421
00:34:44,291 --> 00:34:48,878
Now Sarah, they'll be here soon and
the boy is probably worth millions.

422
00:34:48,962 --> 00:34:52,591
If he starts talking art or music. Tell
him you were nearly in the production

423
00:34:52,674 --> 00:34:55,385
Royal Under the Sun at the
church hall.

424
00:34:55,468 --> 00:35:00,765
Don't say "You know" all the
time, and don't suck your thumb!

425
00:35:00,849 --> 00:35:04,185
Aren't these gorgeous
Shakespearean homes? No worries.

426
00:35:04,269 --> 00:35:08,023
Broad Eaves. This is the Gorts. You
be on your best behaviour dear.

427
00:35:16,573 --> 00:35:17,616
DOOR SHUTS

428
00:35:18,783 --> 00:35:22,370
Oh, God! There's a couple of gypsies
frigging about on the front lawn.

429
00:35:27,083 --> 00:35:30,378
I think it's up here, Auntie Edna.
I'd better just check in the A-Z.

430
00:35:30,462 --> 00:35:32,631
Hey! I'm sure... Hey, you!

431
00:35:32,714 --> 00:35:34,174
Just a minute! Can't you read?

432
00:35:34,257 --> 00:35:35,967
No hawkers, no tramps.

433
00:35:36,051 --> 00:35:38,595
I'm sorry, er... I was...

434
00:35:38,678 --> 00:35:42,766
Mrs Gort, Mrs Ronald Gort? Yes.

435
00:35:42,849 --> 00:35:45,185
Barry McKenzie's the name.
This is me Auntie Edna.

436
00:35:45,268 --> 00:35:48,188
Oh! Nice little patch of
vegetation you've got here.

437
00:35:48,271 --> 00:35:52,025
I am so sorry!
How utterly bonkers of me.

438
00:35:52,108 --> 00:35:53,777
Do both come in and have some
tea.

439
00:35:53,860 --> 00:35:56,237
You must be exhausted
after such a long drive.

440
00:35:56,321 --> 00:35:59,282
Well actually, my lady,
we came by train.

441
00:35:59,366 --> 00:36:02,327
Oh. First class, of course.

442
00:36:02,410 --> 00:36:04,663
Oh, I brought you a little gift.

443
00:36:04,746 --> 00:36:07,791
It's a lovely sheaf of...
fresh, pink Gladdies.

444
00:36:07,874 --> 00:36:09,417
It's Australia's national
flower.

445
00:36:09,501 --> 00:36:11,795
How very kind of you.
Just a token. Thank you.

446
00:36:11,878 --> 00:36:13,004
This way.

447
00:36:15,382 --> 00:36:16,424
Along here.

448
00:36:16,508 --> 00:36:19,010
Er, I wouldn't say no
to a couple of nice cold ales.

449
00:36:19,094 --> 00:36:22,597
You come indoors and meet my husband
Ronald and my daughter Sarah.

450
00:36:23,431 --> 00:36:26,518
What a lovely home you
have here, Mrs Gort.

451
00:36:26,601 --> 00:36:28,812
So redolent with history.

452
00:36:28,895 --> 00:36:31,898
DOOR CREAKS

453
00:36:35,151 --> 00:36:39,364
Well, Sarah, darling, this is Mrs
Everage and this is Mr McKenzie.

454
00:36:39,447 --> 00:36:40,615
Hello.

455
00:36:40,699 --> 00:36:44,369
How very sweet to meet you.
G'day. Glad to know you.

456
00:36:44,744 --> 00:36:46,204
Barry McKenzie's the name,

457
00:36:46,287 --> 00:36:48,331
but most of me mates call me
Bazza.

458
00:36:48,415 --> 00:36:50,041
I'm, er, Mr Gort.

459
00:36:51,251 --> 00:36:54,003
Ronald, Ronnie, Ron.

460
00:36:54,087 --> 00:36:54,754
Hello!

461
00:36:54,838 --> 00:36:57,924
Bazza? How charmingly informal.

462
00:36:58,007 --> 00:36:59,968
Sarah adores that sort of thing.

463
00:37:00,051 --> 00:37:03,430
She went to the last Young
Conservatives dance in her jodhpurs!

464
00:37:04,055 --> 00:37:06,808
But sometimes her father and I
wonder where she comes from.

465
00:37:09,352 --> 00:37:11,855
Oh, by the by, we brought you
a little prezzo.

466
00:37:11,938 --> 00:37:13,606
Oh, how sweet... Oh!

467
00:37:13,690 --> 00:37:17,777
Very sweet of you! I do hope you
haven't been too extravagant.

468
00:37:17,861 --> 00:37:21,156
Goodness me, Mrs Gort,
it's only a thought.

469
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:23,491
It's a nice tin of old dripping.

470
00:37:23,783 --> 00:37:25,702
During the period of
hostilities,

471
00:37:25,785 --> 00:37:28,371
our home in Melbourne
was a Fat For Britain depot.

472
00:37:28,455 --> 00:37:32,500
All our neighbours used to deposit
their old fat on our doorstep

473
00:37:32,584 --> 00:37:35,086
and we'd whisk it off to
the Old Country post haste.

474
00:37:37,464 --> 00:37:40,759
Er, yes, Auntie thought
you might still be a bit short.

475
00:37:40,842 --> 00:37:42,927
SHE CHUCKLES How quaint!

476
00:37:43,011 --> 00:37:44,387
Cook will bless you.

477
00:37:44,471 --> 00:37:46,347
Cook? Mary, we haven't got a...

478
00:37:46,431 --> 00:37:48,224
Ronald! Go and get the tea
trolley.

479
00:37:48,933 --> 00:37:51,644
Do sit down, Mrs Everage.
Make yourself comfortable.

480
00:37:51,728 --> 00:37:55,190
Thank you so much. Come along,
dear, sit down. Over here.

481
00:37:55,273 --> 00:37:56,417
Come along, darling, over here.

482
00:37:56,441 --> 00:37:58,985
Any chance of obtaining
a nice cold ale?

483
00:37:59,068 --> 00:38:00,361
I sneaked into a pub on the way,

484
00:38:00,445 --> 00:38:03,239
but it was 3.05 and the bastards
gave me the bum's rush.

485
00:38:03,782 --> 00:38:05,575
We haven't got a drop in the
house.

486
00:38:06,284 --> 00:38:08,828
But, um, come into the den.

487
00:38:08,912 --> 00:38:10,830
Will you please bring the
trolley over!

488
00:38:11,206 --> 00:38:12,791
Not the den.

489
00:38:12,874 --> 00:38:16,211
I remember what happened last time you
took one of Sarah's boyfriends in there.

490
00:38:16,294 --> 00:38:18,963
I hope you're enjoying your
visit to England.

491
00:38:19,047 --> 00:38:21,341
Adoring it, thank you, Lady
Gort.

492
00:38:21,424 --> 00:38:26,513
I love the homes of yesteryear. Barry,
do you realise that Shakespeare himself

493
00:38:26,596 --> 00:38:29,641
might have lived here when
he wrote his wonderful shows?

494
00:38:29,724 --> 00:38:33,102
Shows like To Be Or Not To Be,
or Lend Me Your Ears.

495
00:38:33,186 --> 00:38:37,607
How do like your tea, milk and sugar? Three
lumps, thank you, Lady Gort. I'm sweet enough.

496
00:38:40,401 --> 00:38:44,989
Ronald, come and help me get another piece of
chocolate cake for Barry. I can see how he adores it.

497
00:38:45,073 --> 00:38:47,492
It's all right, I'm full as a
goog.

498
00:38:47,575 --> 00:38:49,828
Had a gutful on the train.
Thanks all the same.

499
00:38:49,911 --> 00:38:53,456
Oh no, no trouble at all.
Come on, Ronald. Mr Gort?

500
00:38:53,832 --> 00:38:56,876
I've had my eye on your
rhododendrons for some time now.

501
00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:58,336
May I take a snippet?

502
00:38:59,295 --> 00:39:03,007
Oh, yes. Thank you so much.
I promise not to be too greedy.

503
00:39:03,299 --> 00:39:08,429
Come on, Ronald. I'm sure Barry and Sarah
have got masses to say to each other.

504
00:39:08,805 --> 00:39:11,975
Uh... well, yeah. Well,
er... beaut.

505
00:39:12,058 --> 00:39:14,727
Why don't you to piss off... er,
adjourn to the kitchen,

506
00:39:14,811 --> 00:39:16,604
we'll talk about the price of
fish.

507
00:39:23,736 --> 00:39:26,114
You great boneheaded fool!

508
00:39:26,614 --> 00:39:30,326
Don't you realise this is our chance
to marry our daughter into money?

509
00:39:30,910 --> 00:39:33,037
If we can talk him into
spending the weekend,

510
00:39:33,288 --> 00:39:36,791
he can partner Sarah to the Rickmansworth
Young Conservative Social.

511
00:39:37,250 --> 00:39:41,880
Capital idea. I'll take the boy
into my den and put it up to him.

512
00:39:41,963 --> 00:39:46,342
Oh no you won't, you filthy old perv.
I'll ask him.

513
00:39:47,218 --> 00:39:52,640
Send him his beastly cake! Mr Gort!
Mr Gort! Coo-eee!

514
00:39:57,061 --> 00:40:01,858
Mr McKenzie, it must be
wonderful living in Australia,

515
00:40:01,941 --> 00:40:04,777
amongst all those wide open
spaces.

516
00:40:06,321 --> 00:40:09,073
I suppose you have hoards of
Aboriginal servants.

517
00:40:09,157 --> 00:40:11,826
Abos? Oh, cripes, no.
Never seen an Abo in me life.

518
00:40:11,910 --> 00:40:14,621
Mum does the solid jack
around our place.

519
00:40:14,704 --> 00:40:18,791
Now, Barry, Ronald and I insist that
you and your aunt stay the weekend.

520
00:40:19,167 --> 00:40:22,962
And I know Sarah will love to take
you to her social. It's informal,

521
00:40:23,046 --> 00:40:26,466
just a few young folk in for dancing
and drinks. Coo-ee! Drinks?

522
00:40:26,549 --> 00:40:28,259
Jeez, I'd buy that, m'lady.

523
00:40:28,593 --> 00:40:30,845
It'll be beaut to get a break
from Earls Court.

524
00:40:31,179 --> 00:40:33,306
Am I jack of shoving pound notes
in that meter!

525
00:40:33,723 --> 00:40:37,018
He mustn't waste his fortune,
must he, Mrs Everage?

526
00:40:37,101 --> 00:40:40,355
You never know, Little Miss Right
might be closer than he thinks!

527
00:40:40,438 --> 00:40:43,524
A fool and his money are soon
parted, your Excellency.

528
00:40:43,608 --> 00:40:46,152
Look, I've been a wicked,
wicked woman,

529
00:40:46,402 --> 00:40:49,030
snip-snipping away
all these lovely cuttings.

530
00:40:49,489 --> 00:40:51,658
As my husband, Norm, always
says,

531
00:40:51,741 --> 00:40:53,785
it's the little bit on the end
that counts.

532
00:40:54,661 --> 00:40:58,748
We've just been talking to Barry
about your staying for the weekend.

533
00:40:59,165 --> 00:41:02,418
I'd be delightful, but I hope
we wouldn't be imposing.

534
00:41:02,502 --> 00:41:04,545
No, no, I assure you.

535
00:41:04,963 --> 00:41:07,715
And I know Barry will love
the dance tonight.

536
00:41:07,799 --> 00:41:12,553
Barry'll have a wonderful time if
he enjoys dancing as much as I do!

537
00:41:13,012 --> 00:41:17,558
I first met my husband, Norm,
at a dance in Melbourne.

538
00:41:18,142 --> 00:41:19,727
It's a wonderful thing, isn't
it?

539
00:41:20,144 --> 00:41:25,233
Quite a few young people today are
as fond of holding balls as we were.

540
00:41:27,068 --> 00:41:31,114
DISTANT CHILDREN'S CHOIR SINGS

541
00:41:52,010 --> 00:41:54,262
CHOIR GETS LOUDER

542
00:41:54,345 --> 00:41:58,307
♪ Swing, swing together

543
00:41:58,391 --> 00:42:03,354
♪ With our bodies between our
knees

544
00:42:03,438 --> 00:42:07,817
♪ Some may be more clever

545
00:42:07,900 --> 00:42:11,779
♪ Others may make more row... ♪

546
00:42:11,863 --> 00:42:14,741
Ooh! Oh, strewth, oh, um,
'scuse I, sir,

547
00:42:14,824 --> 00:42:17,535
er... sorry to come busting in
on you like this,

548
00:42:17,618 --> 00:42:19,930
tell you the truth, I was looking
for the snake's house, sir.

549
00:42:19,954 --> 00:42:22,957
Think nothing of it.
And call me Gort.

550
00:42:23,041 --> 00:42:27,545
I'll call YOU sir. Fair crack of
the whip, sport. I mean, Gort.

551
00:42:27,628 --> 00:42:29,348
Then again, if that's the way
you want it...

552
00:42:31,758 --> 00:42:34,343
Hey, is this do tonight
fancy dress or something?

553
00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:37,096
<i>It is,
I'm up shit creek costume-wise.</i>

554
00:42:37,180 --> 00:42:40,725
Oh no you're not, sir.
I have got something for you.

555
00:42:47,857 --> 00:42:49,275
Try them on, sir.

556
00:42:57,033 --> 00:42:58,034
Hey...

557
00:42:58,826 --> 00:43:00,828
Reckon I look a bit of all
right in this.

558
00:43:00,912 --> 00:43:03,122
We'll make a gruesome
twosome, eh, Gorty boy?

559
00:43:04,373 --> 00:43:05,708
All I need now is a cane.

560
00:43:07,210 --> 00:43:09,712
Here it is, sir. Here it is.

561
00:43:10,671 --> 00:43:14,842
You better thrash me, sir.
Go on, don't spare me.

562
00:43:16,010 --> 00:43:20,640
I-I deserve it, sir! Flay me,
do as you like with me!

563
00:43:22,308 --> 00:43:24,644
Oooh, ah, I've been naughty.

564
00:43:24,727 --> 00:43:27,480
I've poured ink
all over your study floor.

565
00:43:27,897 --> 00:43:32,151
Yes... give me a touch
of your iron discipline then!

566
00:43:32,235 --> 00:43:35,571
Er...'scuse I, sir. Like,
thanks for the fancy outfit,

567
00:43:35,655 --> 00:43:39,455
but I... just remembered I gotta whip down to the
local rubbedy for a few ice cold ales. No! No!

568
00:43:39,534 --> 00:43:45,331
Don't go, sir! Look, I've
got my cap on indoors.

569
00:43:46,082 --> 00:43:47,875
I've been smoking behind the
lav!

570
00:43:48,376 --> 00:43:51,879
I've got a bottle of Scotch
in my drawer, so I'm underage

571
00:43:51,963 --> 00:43:53,589
in possession of alcohol!

572
00:43:58,970 --> 00:44:02,640
Please forgive my husband's
quaint little whim, Mr McKenzie.

573
00:44:03,641 --> 00:44:07,854
He's a war veteran, you know.
One of the few.

574
00:44:07,937 --> 00:44:11,023
Glad to hear there aren't too many around.
Go and chat with Sarah,

575
00:44:11,107 --> 00:44:13,609
while I have a few words
with her father.

576
00:44:14,193 --> 00:44:16,529
You bloody fool!

577
00:44:17,530 --> 00:44:18,990
Sorry, precious.

578
00:44:19,740 --> 00:44:22,451
I... don't know what nearly
came over me.

579
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:38,050
Never get to the bottom
of the flaming poms.

580
00:44:38,134 --> 00:44:41,846
Oh, don't mind Father, Barry.
He's not as other men.

581
00:44:42,763 --> 00:44:45,203
Last time anything like that
happened was when I was a nipper.

582
00:44:45,808 --> 00:44:47,727
Scoutmaster flashed his nasty.

583
00:44:49,312 --> 00:44:50,938
Spruce yourself up, Barry boy,

584
00:44:51,022 --> 00:44:53,316
you mustn't look like the
wild man from Borneo.

585
00:44:54,358 --> 00:44:57,069
Oh, you're going to break
a few hearts tonight!

586
00:44:57,153 --> 00:44:59,572
Just let your auntie whisk
off your cradle cap,

587
00:44:59,655 --> 00:45:02,742
and pick out those
little custard corners.

588
00:45:05,578 --> 00:45:08,372
Now remember, when he takes
you onto the terrace,

589
00:45:08,456 --> 00:45:10,958
folds you in his arms and wants
to play hospitals with you,

590
00:45:11,334 --> 00:45:15,213
don't suck your bloody thumb.
You understand? Yes, Mother.

591
00:45:15,296 --> 00:45:18,507
Alright then say it back to me.
When he takes me in his thumbs

592
00:45:18,591 --> 00:45:21,552
And goes to the hospital I
musn't suck his arms.

593
00:45:22,762 --> 00:45:25,806
Isn't Sarah a striking girl,
Barry?

594
00:45:25,890 --> 00:45:27,516
They're a delightful family too,

595
00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:30,019
very comfortably off, I'd have
thought.

596
00:45:30,770 --> 00:45:32,730
No thanks, Auntie. You'll do me.

597
00:45:33,356 --> 00:45:34,607
SHE CHUCKLES

598
00:45:35,149 --> 00:45:37,276
BAND PLAYS JAZZY TUNE

599
00:45:51,374 --> 00:45:55,920
Raymond! This is Barry McKenzie.

600
00:45:56,003 --> 00:46:00,925
He's from Australia! Australia?

601
00:46:01,008 --> 00:46:02,885
I say, cobber,

602
00:46:02,969 --> 00:46:07,139
show us how you convicts toddle
about on your heads down under.

603
00:46:07,974 --> 00:46:10,226
Go and stick your head up
a dead bear's bum.

604
00:46:11,394 --> 00:46:12,979
THEY LAUGH

605
00:46:13,062 --> 00:46:17,942
What a delightfully refreshing traditional old
English meal that was, Mrs Gort. Thank you.

606
00:46:18,025 --> 00:46:21,320
And how unusual to serve spaghetti
bolognese without the toast.

607
00:46:21,404 --> 00:46:24,949
Sarah, look, I just gotta go to
the snake's house,

608
00:46:25,032 --> 00:46:27,201
busting to strain the potatoes.

609
00:46:43,676 --> 00:46:45,970
Where's your boomerang, eh,
cobber?

610
00:46:46,053 --> 00:46:48,514
Go and dip your left eye
in hot cockie cack.

611
00:46:48,597 --> 00:46:53,811
May I ask, do you cook spaghetti
in the saucepan, or boil the tin?

612
00:46:53,894 --> 00:46:58,941
Oh, I'm afraid I'll have to ask Cook!
Cook? We haven't got a bloody cook.

613
00:47:02,737 --> 00:47:04,780
Hey, you old convict
bluey-digger.

614
00:47:05,573 --> 00:47:08,075
Know what I hope?
What do you hope, old chap?

615
00:47:08,159 --> 00:47:11,287
I hope all your chooks turn to
emus and kick your dunny down.

616
00:47:11,746 --> 00:47:15,166
Oh, I wonder what Barry
and Sarah are doing now.

617
00:47:15,249 --> 00:47:17,752
Probably waltzing round the
dancefloor,

618
00:47:17,835 --> 00:47:21,881
gazing into each other's eyes, whispering
sweet nothings to one another.

619
00:47:32,183 --> 00:47:35,895
Why aren't you with the other Aussies,
drinking all that Fosters stuff?

620
00:47:35,978 --> 00:47:38,647
Listen, drongo, any more lip
and I'll floor ya.

621
00:47:38,731 --> 00:47:42,026
No, really, there's a whole
party of them in the back room,

622
00:47:42,109 --> 00:47:44,195
from the local agricultural
college.

623
00:47:51,702 --> 00:47:54,872
Ah, you little beauty!
Human beings at last!

624
00:47:54,955 --> 00:47:57,875
THEY ALL CHEER AND SHOUT
GREETINGS

625
00:48:03,214 --> 00:48:05,800
Oh, am I glad to be shot
of those pommie drongos!

626
00:48:05,883 --> 00:48:09,387
Have a Fosters, you sly old bastard!
Beauty!

627
00:48:09,470 --> 00:48:11,472
THEY CHEER

628
00:48:11,806 --> 00:48:15,393
I've heard such sad stories about
young Australians in London,

629
00:48:15,476 --> 00:48:18,604
drinking and brawling
in these vile Earls Court dives.

630
00:48:18,687 --> 00:48:22,608
Well, I can't deny that my nephew
does enjoy the occasional,

631
00:48:22,691 --> 00:48:25,694
odd chilled glass of
amber fluid, Mrs Gort.

632
00:48:25,778 --> 00:48:28,697
But he and his friends
are real little gentlemen.

633
00:48:28,781 --> 00:48:32,993
I don't think they rely on alcoholic
beverages to have a good time.

634
00:48:33,994 --> 00:48:35,996
♪ I wish I was in London ♪

635
00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:38,124
♪ l do, l do ♪

636
00:48:38,207 --> 00:48:40,501
♪ I go down to Trafalgar
Square... ♪

637
00:48:40,584 --> 00:48:42,920
Jeez, I feel like all me
birthdays have come at once.

638
00:48:43,003 --> 00:48:48,426
What a fantastic bunch of bastards!
♪ You are a pommy bastard... ♪

639
00:48:50,970 --> 00:48:55,516
♪ All pommies are bastards
Bastards or worse ♪

640
00:48:55,599 --> 00:49:00,187
♪ And England is the arsehole
of the universe... ♪

641
00:49:08,904 --> 00:49:13,367
There you are, Barry. I've spent
a long time searching for you.

642
00:49:13,451 --> 00:49:17,204
I thought you might have got lost.
Me, lost? You gotta be joking!

643
00:49:17,288 --> 00:49:20,541
Hey fellas, meet me sheila,
Sarah. G'day. Glad to know ya.

644
00:49:20,624 --> 00:49:22,042
Glad to know ya, Sarah.

645
00:49:22,126 --> 00:49:24,879
HE SNORES

646
00:49:37,224 --> 00:49:42,104
Barry we have to go otherwise
mummy will be worried.

647
00:49:43,647 --> 00:49:45,065
Alright Sarah.

648
00:49:45,149 --> 00:49:47,943
Gotta go, fellas.
See ya, Baz. Bye, Baz.

649
00:49:48,027 --> 00:49:50,255
Don't do anything you wouldn't
do on the back of a bicycle Baz.

650
00:49:50,279 --> 00:49:52,156
Spending the night at the nest,
are ya, Baz?

651
00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:56,118
Bazza. You might be on to
something there, mate. Yeah?

652
00:49:56,202 --> 00:49:59,788
Some of those sheilas who don't look
s0 hot are great little performers.

653
00:49:59,872 --> 00:50:01,749
Go on! Yeah.

654
00:50:04,919 --> 00:50:07,296
See ya, fellas! See ya, Baz!

655
00:50:38,994 --> 00:50:41,914
Oh, Baz, you sport, I'm so
happy.

656
00:50:41,997 --> 00:50:46,627
A lovely Rickmansworth evening, the
pressure of your arm against mine,

657
00:50:46,710 --> 00:50:50,297
and the hint of wine on your
breath.

658
00:50:50,381 --> 00:50:53,676
Jeez, Sarah, I reckon you look
real bonzer tonight.

659
00:50:53,759 --> 00:50:57,763
I reckon we could go a celebration
naughty before we adjourn inside.

660
00:50:57,846 --> 00:50:59,557
Look, Ronald, he's kissing her!

661
00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:02,560
Just imagine, the McKenzie
millions are almost mine!

662
00:51:02,643 --> 00:51:06,689
Yes, yes, he's kissing her.
Fondling her young limbs.

663
00:51:06,772 --> 00:51:08,857
Cupping her firm... Shhhh!

664
00:51:09,316 --> 00:51:12,528
Yes... bruising her
young petals...

665
00:51:12,611 --> 00:51:15,948
stroking her hot...
Oh, God, I can't bear it!

666
00:51:16,323 --> 00:51:18,450
Ah, there you are,
my chickibitties.

667
00:51:18,534 --> 00:51:21,453
Come in and tell us about
your wonderful evening.

668
00:51:21,537 --> 00:51:23,664
It must have been so romantic.

669
00:51:23,747 --> 00:51:28,168
Ah, yeah, well, m'lady, we had a
reasonable type of time, and...

670
00:51:28,252 --> 00:51:30,963
Come along, Mr McKenzie.
Or may I call you Bazza?

671
00:51:31,046 --> 00:51:33,841
Don't be shy. Give us your
real news.

672
00:51:33,924 --> 00:51:38,345
Uh, like, we met this real nice
crowd of bastards at the social...

673
00:51:38,429 --> 00:51:42,433
No, no, McKenzie. What Mary wants
to know is did you exchange vows

674
00:51:42,516 --> 00:51:45,060
with our little petal?
What came to pass?

675
00:51:45,144 --> 00:51:49,398
Oh, you mean when Bazzie suggested
we had a naughty little celebration?

676
00:51:49,481 --> 00:51:51,859
Fair crack of the whip, Sarah!
Give a bloke a break!

677
00:51:52,401 --> 00:51:55,446
Now then, no whispering.
Can I hear wedding bells?

678
00:51:55,529 --> 00:51:59,700
Did you fix a date? Shall we discuss
the enormous financial settlement?

679
00:51:59,783 --> 00:52:04,705
What happened? What's the strength?
Strewth, m'lady, are you inferring

680
00:52:04,788 --> 00:52:09,126
that me and Sarah committed
intimacy or something? Intimacy?

681
00:52:09,918 --> 00:52:15,007
Oh, my fragile little petal!
Oh, don't come the raw prawn!

682
00:52:15,090 --> 00:52:19,011
I gave her a smack on the chops, didn't
get around to the fair dinkum article.

683
00:52:19,094 --> 00:52:21,805
Sarah, you's a woman now.

684
00:52:21,889 --> 00:52:25,726
We must settle his funds at once,
before he rushes you to the altar!

685
00:52:25,809 --> 00:52:28,937
Mummy, you don't understand.
Nothing happened.

686
00:52:29,021 --> 00:52:31,690
We didn't even play hospitals.

687
00:52:32,650 --> 00:52:33,651
What?!

688
00:52:34,985 --> 00:52:37,988
You mean you weren't rude
with one another?

689
00:52:38,364 --> 00:52:39,657
No marriage?

690
00:52:40,949 --> 00:52:43,911
But... but the money...

691
00:52:43,994 --> 00:52:48,707
I told you, he's cash,
and you promised!

692
00:52:49,083 --> 00:52:51,168
Strewth! She's a flamin' ratbag!

693
00:52:51,877 --> 00:52:55,714
Money, cars and garages, you
fool!

694
00:52:56,215 --> 00:52:58,717
Intimacy!

695
00:52:58,801 --> 00:53:03,347
Doctors and nurses! Loins!
Loins!

696
00:53:03,430 --> 00:53:05,015
SHE CONTINUES TO RANT

697
00:53:05,099 --> 00:53:09,061
It's all my fault.
I can't be punished enough!

698
00:53:12,231 --> 00:53:14,942
McKenzie millions, gone!

699
00:53:15,567 --> 00:53:17,653
Beat me, please!

700
00:53:17,736 --> 00:53:19,154
Lash me!

701
00:53:19,238 --> 00:53:23,909
We've lost everything!
Please, lash me! Oh, shut up!

702
00:53:23,992 --> 00:53:26,870
And you can take your beastly
Spam with you!

703
00:53:26,954 --> 00:53:31,083
What happened? What's happening?
What's happening?!

704
00:53:31,166 --> 00:53:33,711
Barry?! Where's my nephew?
Where is he?

705
00:53:33,794 --> 00:53:35,796
Barry! It's all my fault!

706
00:53:35,879 --> 00:53:38,257
Barry, darling! Barry! Whip me!

707
00:53:38,340 --> 00:53:41,051
Barry! (Lash met)

708
00:53:41,135 --> 00:53:42,720
SHE WAILS INCOMPREHENSIBLY

709
00:53:42,803 --> 00:53:45,055
Barry! Barry! Flog me!

710
00:53:45,139 --> 00:53:47,224
Barry!

711
00:53:55,816 --> 00:53:56,816
HE WHISTLES

712
00:54:07,745 --> 00:54:09,545
Wouldn't be going to London,
would you, sport?

713
00:54:09,621 --> 00:54:12,916
Where else is there, man?
Hop in, friend.

714
00:54:15,627 --> 00:54:17,171
Hi! G'day!

715
00:54:25,220 --> 00:54:28,348
I'm Hoot, this is Blanche,
and Sean, here.

716
00:54:28,432 --> 00:54:30,726
Glad to know ya.
Barry McKenzie's the name.

717
00:54:31,518 --> 00:54:33,395
I ascertain that you're
affiliated with the

718
00:54:33,479 --> 00:54:36,648
entertainment industry, by the look of
all these instruments. - Right Friend.

719
00:54:36,732 --> 00:54:41,487
You must be Australian, or you'd read papers
that count like Time Out. Cut the aggro, Sean.

720
00:54:42,279 --> 00:54:44,615
Tony Palmer gave us a big review
last week.

721
00:54:45,532 --> 00:54:49,077
We just roam around the country,
making a simple,

722
00:54:49,161 --> 00:54:52,998
unaffected music that working people like.
Fair enough.

723
00:54:53,081 --> 00:54:54,792
HE PLAYS BLUESY RIFF

724
00:55:00,756 --> 00:55:05,511
♪ Travelling down red route ♪

725
00:55:05,594 --> 00:55:08,639
♪ Going to do it our way... ♪

726
00:55:11,308 --> 00:55:14,144
♪ For the sun gonna shine ♪

727
00:55:15,229 --> 00:55:18,106
♪ Ba-da-doh-ba-day. ♪

728
00:55:22,319 --> 00:55:26,740
Your song's bloody delightful. We've got
some grouse songs back in Australia too.

729
00:55:26,824 --> 00:55:28,867
You mean, friend, you could sing
us

730
00:55:28,951 --> 00:55:31,537
an authentic viable Aboriginal
protest song?

731
00:55:31,620 --> 00:55:34,957
Oh, come off it, sport. No, some
of those ditties we used to sing

732
00:55:35,040 --> 00:55:37,417
down at Bondi Beach.
Give us the guitar.

733
00:55:43,340 --> 00:55:45,467
Here's one me mate Curly wrote.

734
00:55:46,718 --> 00:55:49,054
♪ Oh, I got a little creature ♪

735
00:55:49,137 --> 00:55:51,181
♪ I suppose you'd call him a pet
♪

736
00:55:52,140 --> 00:55:53,934
♪ And if there's something
wrong with him ♪

737
00:55:54,017 --> 00:55:56,103
♪ I don't have to call the vet ♪

738
00:55:56,186 --> 00:55:58,230
♪ He goes everywhere that I go ♪

739
00:55:58,313 --> 00:56:00,065
♪ Whether sleeping or awake ♪

740
00:56:00,148 --> 00:56:03,151
♪ God help me if I'd ever lose Me
little one-eyed trouser snake ♪

741
00:56:03,235 --> 00:56:07,447
♪ Oh, me one-eyed trouser snake
Oh, me one-eyed trouser snake ♪

742
00:56:07,531 --> 00:56:11,118
♪ God help me if I'd ever lose
Me one-eyed trouser snake ♪

743
00:56:12,119 --> 00:56:13,996
♪ One day I got to reading ♪

744
00:56:14,079 --> 00:56:16,164
♪ In an old sky pilot's book ♪

745
00:56:16,248 --> 00:56:18,125
♪ About two starkers bastards ♪

746
00:56:18,208 --> 00:56:20,294
♪ Who made the Lord go crook ♪

747
00:56:20,377 --> 00:56:21,962
♪ They reckoned it was a serpent
♪

748
00:56:22,045 --> 00:56:24,214
♪ That made Eve the apple take ♪

749
00:56:24,298 --> 00:56:26,216
♪ Cripes, that was no flaming
serpent ♪

750
00:56:26,300 --> 00:56:28,010
♪ It was Adam's one-eyed trouser
snake ♪

751
00:56:28,093 --> 00:56:32,014
♪ Oh, me one-eyed trouser snake
Oh, me one-eyed trouser snake ♪

752
00:56:32,097 --> 00:56:35,726
♪ God help me if I'd ever lose
Me one-eyed trouser snake ♪

753
00:56:36,560 --> 00:56:38,312
♪ I met this arty sheila ♪

754
00:56:38,395 --> 00:56:40,814
♪ Who I'd never met before ♪

755
00:56:40,898 --> 00:56:43,066
♪ And something kind of told me
♪

756
00:56:43,150 --> 00:56:45,527
♪ She banged like a dunny door ♪

757
00:56:45,611 --> 00:56:47,529
♪ I said come up and see me
etching ♪

758
00:56:47,613 --> 00:56:49,197
♪ She said I hope it's not a
fake ♪

759
00:56:49,281 --> 00:56:53,243
♪ I said the only thing that's etching
IS me one-eyed trouser snake ♪

760
00:56:53,327 --> 00:56:57,080
BOTH: and Oh, me one-eyed trouser
snake Me one-eyed trouser snake ♪

761
00:56:57,164 --> 00:57:00,500
♪ God help me if I'd ever lose
Me one-eyed trouser snake ♪

762
00:57:02,002 --> 00:57:03,795
4 Come, all you little sheilas ♪

763
00:57:03,879 --> 00:57:06,006
♪ And listen to me song

764
00:57:06,089 --> 00:57:07,966
<i>2 The moral of the trouser snake
3</i>

765
00:57:08,050 --> 00:57:10,260
Jisshortasitislong ♪

766
00:57:11,178 --> 00:57:13,180
4 Beware of imitations

767
00:57:13,263 --> 00:57:15,390
4 Don't lock your bedroom door ♪

768
00:57:15,474 --> 00:57:19,227
4 When me pyjama python bites you
You'll be screaming out for more ♪

769
00:57:19,311 --> 00:57:23,023
BOTH: ♪ Oh, me one-eyed trouser
snake Me one-eyed trouser snake ♪

770
00:57:23,106 --> 00:57:26,234
♪ God help me if I'd ever lose
Me one-eyed trouser snake ♪

771
00:57:26,318 --> 00:57:29,905
♪ Oh, me one-eyed trouser snake
Me one-eyed trouser snake ♪

772
00:57:29,988 --> 00:57:35,369
♪ God help me if I'd ever lose
Me one-eyed trouser snake ♪

773
00:57:35,452 --> 00:57:37,037
♪ Oh-he-ho-he-ho-he-ho! I

774
00:57:37,120 --> 00:57:40,332
Fantastic, Barry!
Wasn't that fantastic?

775
00:57:40,415 --> 00:57:45,754
Er, listen here, man. We're
doing a little gig tonight,

776
00:57:45,837 --> 00:57:49,007
at the Freedom Arts Factory.
Very heavy little place.

777
00:57:49,675 --> 00:57:53,178
What's say you come along and
sing one of your most meaningful

778
00:57:53,261 --> 00:57:55,013
Australian folk songs, yeah?

779
00:57:55,097 --> 00:57:57,349
There's plenty of bread in this
deal,

780
00:57:57,432 --> 00:58:01,228
and a bit of booze, eh? OK, mate. You
can forget the sandwiches though,

781
00:58:01,311 --> 00:58:03,289
I wouldn't mind a couple of ice
cold tubes of Fosters.

782
00:58:03,313 --> 00:58:06,692
Great, Barry, you'll dig the
vibes down at the factory.

783
00:58:06,775 --> 00:58:10,028
All the kids are getting it
together with human rights causes,

784
00:58:10,112 --> 00:58:14,199
and they're looking for a
spiritual gaiety with nature.

785
00:58:14,282 --> 00:58:16,451
We'll really get it together.

786
00:58:16,535 --> 00:58:19,413
I'll buy that, Blanchey. Better
together than by yourself.

787
00:58:29,506 --> 00:58:33,260
Here we are, Barry McKenzie.
Make yourself at home, man.

788
00:58:34,511 --> 00:58:38,140
Jeez, this place looks like the inside of
St Paul's Abbey I seen with me Auntie Edna.

789
00:58:38,223 --> 00:58:42,144
The alternative society has
its own iconography, Barry.

790
00:58:49,443 --> 00:58:52,446
PSYCHEDELIC ROCK PLAYS

791
00:59:06,960 --> 00:59:09,046
Listen, mate,
I need to splash the boots.

792
00:59:12,466 --> 00:59:15,677
You know, strain the potatoes.
Water the horses.

793
00:59:19,639 --> 00:59:23,727
You know, go where the big knobs hang out.
Shake hands with the wife's best friend?

794
00:59:27,022 --> 00:59:30,150
Drain the dragon! Siphon the
python!

795
00:59:31,026 --> 00:59:32,486
Wring the rattlesnake!

796
00:59:33,195 --> 00:59:36,573
You know, unbutton the mutton! Like,
point Percy at the porcelain!

797
00:59:39,701 --> 00:59:41,578
I think he wants to go to the
loo.

798
00:59:43,663 --> 00:59:47,918
Through the door, first left,
past my plaster cast collection.

799
00:59:58,303 --> 01:00:01,598
Look. We'll keep this
Aussie jerk here today,

800
01:00:01,681 --> 01:00:04,434
and then we'll tape his gig
at the Arts Factory tonight.

801
01:00:04,518 --> 01:00:07,354
Properly exploit him. He's worth
a bit of bread to us, man.

802
01:00:07,437 --> 01:00:11,900
I don't think he's so special.
Cool out, man. It doesn't matter.

803
01:00:11,983 --> 01:00:15,487
If we can't make bread out of an
authentic Australian folk singer,

804
01:00:15,570 --> 01:00:18,824
I'll quit this racket.
This idiom.

805
01:00:18,907 --> 01:00:21,993
The main thing is to keep
him happy, or he'll split.

806
01:00:22,828 --> 01:00:26,998
You play up to him. I'll make sure
he gets plenty of this booze stuff,

807
01:00:27,082 --> 01:00:30,418
This Fosters he keeps shooting
up. Oh, I'll play up to him.

808
01:00:30,502 --> 01:00:34,965
I've heard some fantastic stories
about Australians from a friend.

809
01:00:35,048 --> 01:00:38,969
Yeah? She's a dentist
receptionist in Earls Court!

810
01:00:39,052 --> 01:00:42,681
There'll be trouble if this berk
starts to fill cavities round here!

811
01:00:42,764 --> 01:00:47,519
Relax, will you, or you'll screw this deal!
Go and get an artist contract.

812
01:00:47,602 --> 01:00:50,230
I'll tie this Aussie jerk up so
tight

813
01:00:50,313 --> 01:00:52,858
even that cat Houdini won't
be able to get him out.

814
01:00:52,941 --> 01:00:55,110
Look, here he is.

815
01:00:57,571 --> 01:01:00,949
Hey man, did you lay one down?

816
01:01:01,032 --> 01:01:03,952
Jeez, you've got some interesting
reading matter in your bathroom.

817
01:01:04,035 --> 01:01:06,955
Beats the women's weeklies Mum
kept in the lavvy back home.

818
01:01:07,038 --> 01:01:11,209
Barry McKenzie, would you just
sign this please, friend?

819
01:01:11,293 --> 01:01:17,382
It's a mere formality that the establishment
insists on for performers at the Arts Factory.

820
01:01:20,552 --> 01:01:22,095
What's this then?

821
01:01:22,179 --> 01:01:28,768
"I hereby assign all world rights
in perpetuity.” Women's rights.

822
01:01:28,852 --> 01:01:33,523
Negro rights. Civil rights.
World rights.

823
01:01:33,607 --> 01:01:37,235
It's all the same thing. We believe
in the abolition of money,

824
01:01:37,319 --> 01:01:39,696
and we'd like you to be a test
case.

825
01:01:48,205 --> 01:01:51,184
I better give me mate Curl a call and tell
him to meet us at this factory place.

826
01:01:51,208 --> 01:01:53,376
Where's the instrument?
The phone, yeah.

827
01:01:53,460 --> 01:01:56,671
It's just over there, next to
our macrobiotic kitchenette.

828
01:02:14,981 --> 01:02:18,235
G'day, Curl? Wait till I tell you
about the terrific time I'm having!

829
01:02:18,318 --> 01:02:21,905
'Cripes, we've been worried
about you since you vanished.

830
01:02:21,988 --> 01:02:24,658
'Where are you now?'
I'm with some singer types.

831
01:02:24,741 --> 01:02:30,163
'Singer types? Jeez, they usually
have fantastic sheilas. Any there?

832
01:02:30,247 --> 01:02:34,960
Yeah, there's one. Not bad either. Reckon
I'll be in like Flynn in a few hours.

833
01:02:35,752 --> 01:02:41,049
Listen, I gotta sing a beach ditty at some
nightclub called the Freedom Arts Factory this arvo.

834
01:02:41,132 --> 01:02:42,759
Can you meet us there? 'Righto.'

835
01:02:42,842 --> 01:02:46,554
Yeah it's in Bishops Bridge
road, about ♪ o'clock.

836
01:02:48,181 --> 01:02:50,225
FUNKY ROCK PLAYS

837
01:02:53,311 --> 01:02:54,354
Good on ya, Blanchey!

838
01:02:54,437 --> 01:02:58,483
♪ When his light shines on me ♪

839
01:02:58,566 --> 01:03:01,653
♪ A brighter world I see ♪

840
01:03:01,736 --> 01:03:05,657
♪ Yeah, when his
light shines on me ♪

841
01:03:05,740 --> 01:03:09,369
♪ A brighter world I see

842
01:03:09,452 --> 01:03:13,206
♪ And when he takes my hand and
leads me down ♪

843
01:03:13,290 --> 01:03:16,668
♪ Life's long and troubled road
♪

844
01:03:16,751 --> 01:03:20,255
♪ My heart is full, my soul is
free ♪

845
01:03:20,338 --> 01:03:23,633
♪ And he helps me share my load
♪

846
01:03:23,717 --> 01:03:27,721
♪ Yeah, he helps me share my
load... ♪

847
01:03:27,804 --> 01:03:31,308
I'll feature with that jam tart
or I'll bust me flaming boiler.

848
01:03:31,391 --> 01:03:34,894
Seem to be doing all right, Bazza.
Yeah.

849
01:03:34,978 --> 01:03:38,732
♪ My life was oh so wrong ♪

850
01:03:38,815 --> 01:03:41,985
♪ The empty void inside me ♪

851
01:03:42,068 --> 01:03:45,530
♪ Was searching for a song ♪

852
01:03:45,613 --> 01:03:49,534
♪ And then a mad ray of sunshine
♪

853
01:03:49,617 --> 01:03:52,912
♪ Came shining through my door ♪

854
01:03:52,996 --> 01:03:56,249
♪ And he walked in
My fears walked out ♪

855
01:03:56,333 --> 01:03:59,878
♪ It was love forever more... ♪

856
01:03:59,961 --> 01:04:03,423
Listen, you call me Auntie Edna?
Yeah, she's apples, mate.

857
01:04:03,506 --> 01:04:08,136
Hey, you sure got yourself mixed up with a
load of ratbags when you went up the bush.

858
01:04:08,219 --> 01:04:11,056
Your auntie reckons she had
to call the local funny farm.

859
01:04:11,139 --> 01:04:13,933
Reckon the old girl went
as mad as a meat axe.

860
01:04:14,017 --> 01:04:16,853
What'd you do, Bazza?
Slip the daughter a length?

861
01:04:16,936 --> 01:04:19,397
Ah, just screaming for it, Curl!

862
01:04:19,481 --> 01:04:21,691
Her oldies wanted to get me
to the church

863
01:04:21,775 --> 01:04:23,777
before I speared the bearded
clam!

864
01:04:25,320 --> 01:04:28,573
♪ And he helps me share my load
♪

865
01:04:28,656 --> 01:04:30,617
♪ Let his light shine ♪

866
01:04:30,700 --> 01:04:36,790
♪ Oh, you gotta help me
sing his song ♪

867
01:04:36,873 --> 01:04:43,046
♪ It's so easy to do
Let it shine through ♪

868
01:04:43,129 --> 01:04:47,008
♪ When his light shines on me ♪

869
01:04:47,092 --> 01:04:49,886
♪ A brighter world I see ♪

870
01:04:49,969 --> 01:04:54,015
♪ Oh, when his light shines on
me ♪

871
01:04:54,099 --> 01:04:56,935
♪ A brighter world I see ♪

872
01:04:57,018 --> 01:05:00,563
♪ And when he takes my hand
and leads me down ♪

873
01:05:00,647 --> 01:05:04,776
♪ Life's long and troubled road
♪

874
01:05:04,859 --> 01:05:08,238
♪ My heart is full, my soul is
free... ♪

875
01:05:08,321 --> 01:05:10,615
I'll be on me self in
a few jiffs, Curl.

876
01:05:10,698 --> 01:05:14,994
Think I better whip out the utensil and
shake hands with the unemployed. OK, mate.

877
01:05:15,078 --> 01:05:18,957
♪ Yeah, he helps me... ♪

878
01:05:19,040 --> 01:05:26,506
♪ He helps me share my load ♪

879
01:05:26,589 --> 01:05:29,092
CHEERING

880
01:05:31,136 --> 01:05:33,555
Leaving us so soon, Barry
McKenzie?

881
01:05:33,638 --> 01:05:35,849
Strike me pink, can't a bloke
sneak off to the dyke

882
01:05:35,932 --> 01:05:38,184
without a half-nelson? What
gives?

883
01:05:38,268 --> 01:05:42,522
This Aussie twit was breaking his contract.
You're breaking me flaming neck!

884
01:05:42,814 --> 01:05:44,357
Let him go, Sean.

885
01:05:45,942 --> 01:05:50,029
Forget it, Barry. Sean's just uptight
about the ecological threat.

886
01:05:50,113 --> 01:05:53,825
I'll threaten you with a knuckle sandwich!
Don't get funny with me!

887
01:05:53,908 --> 01:05:55,869
I'm a man of peace, so don't bug
mel

888
01:05:55,952 --> 01:05:58,621
Don't come the raw prawn
with me, or I'll drop ya,

889
01:05:58,705 --> 01:06:00,707
you pommy drongo! Barry, you're
on!

890
01:06:00,790 --> 01:06:03,001
Come on. Come on.

891
01:06:04,502 --> 01:06:07,964
Now Kids, in aid of the Isle
of Wight Leprosy Benefit...

892
01:06:08,047 --> 01:06:10,967
APPLAUSE

893
01:06:11,050 --> 01:06:15,680
We've got a great new chartbuster,
just loved in from Australia,

894
01:06:15,763 --> 01:06:19,767
who'll sing you one of his most
meaningful and urgent compositions.

895
01:06:19,851 --> 01:06:22,562
SCANT APPLAUSE

896
01:06:24,772 --> 01:06:26,107
G'day, ladies and gentlemen.

897
01:06:26,191 --> 01:06:29,944
Barry McKenzie's the name.
I don't know why

898
01:06:30,028 --> 01:06:34,324
me mates got me up here, cos I'm
no Perry Como, or Nelson Eddy.

899
01:06:34,407 --> 01:06:37,035
Or for that matter,
I'm no George Formby

900
01:06:37,118 --> 01:06:39,954
or Andres Segovia on the guitar
either.

901
01:06:40,038 --> 01:06:43,291
But I got this beaut little
beach ditty that me and me mates

902
01:06:43,374 --> 01:06:46,711
used to serenade the sharks with
down at Bondi Beach.

903
01:06:46,794 --> 01:06:50,173
It's a beauty too.
I realise a lot of the lingo

904
01:06:50,256 --> 01:06:54,219
might go over youse pom's heads,
s0 I better explain some words.

905
01:06:54,302 --> 01:06:56,471
Words like chunder, for
instance.

906
01:06:56,554 --> 01:07:00,475
See, in them olden days when they
migrated people to Australia,

907
01:07:00,558 --> 01:07:05,772
for little things like eating a loaf
of bread or a handkerchief, uh,

908
01:07:05,855 --> 01:07:09,025
a lot of the tucker on the
convict ships wasn't too good.

909
01:07:09,108 --> 01:07:11,945
There was a lot of tossing,
and everyone was buggered.

910
01:07:12,028 --> 01:07:16,449
So the thing to do was, if you were gonna
throw up, move to the rails and say,

911
01:07:16,533 --> 01:07:17,784
"Watch under!"”

912
01:07:18,785 --> 01:07:23,581
See, that's in case, you know, some
poor dill copped a steaming eyeful.

913
01:07:23,665 --> 01:07:26,292
Anyway, watch under was
shortened to chunder,

914
01:07:26,376 --> 01:07:30,380
and I dedicate this ditty to all the
chundering pioneers of Australia.

915
01:07:30,463 --> 01:07:32,715
The greatest country in the
world, no risk.

916
01:07:33,675 --> 01:07:34,968
Thanks, sport.

917
01:07:37,011 --> 01:07:39,556
♪ I was down by Bondi Pier ♪

918
01:07:39,639 --> 01:07:42,308
♪ Drinking tubes of ice cold
beer ♪

919
01:07:42,392 --> 01:07:45,228
♪ With a bucketful of
prawns upon me knee ♪

920
01:07:46,646 --> 01:07:49,148
♪ When I swallowed the
last prawn ♪

921
01:07:49,232 --> 01:07:51,859
♪ I had a technicolour yawn ♪

922
01:07:51,943 --> 01:07:56,072
♪ And I chundered
in the old Pacific sea ♪

923
01:07:56,155 --> 01:08:00,076
♪ Drink it up, drink it up ♪

924
01:08:00,159 --> 01:08:03,788
♪ Crack another dozen tubes
and prawns with me ♪

925
01:08:03,871 --> 01:08:07,542
♪ If you wanna throw your voice
Mate, you won't have any choice ♪

926
01:08:07,625 --> 01:08:11,462
♪ But to chunder in
the old Pacific sea ♪

927
01:08:13,590 --> 01:08:15,508
♪ I was sitting in the surf ♪

928
01:08:15,592 --> 01:08:17,552
♪ When a mate of mine called
Murph ♪

929
01:08:17,635 --> 01:08:21,389
♪ Asked if he could crack a
tube or two with me ♪

930
01:08:21,472 --> 01:08:25,018
♪ The bastard barely swallowed it
When he went for the big spit ♪

931
01:08:25,101 --> 01:08:28,521
♪ And he chundered in
the old Pacific sea ♪

932
01:08:28,605 --> 01:08:32,859
♪ Drink it up, drink it up ♪

933
01:08:32,942 --> 01:08:36,362
♪ Crack another dozen tubes
and prawns with me ♪

934
01:08:36,446 --> 01:08:40,491
♪ Now if you wanna throw your voice
Mate, you won't have any choice ♪

935
01:08:40,575 --> 01:08:46,247
♪ But to chunder in
the old Pacific sea ♪

936
01:08:46,331 --> 01:08:50,418
♪ Now I've had liquid laughs in bars
And I've hurled from moving cars ♪

937
01:08:50,501 --> 01:08:54,380
♪ And I've chucked when
and where it suited me ♪

938
01:08:54,464 --> 01:08:56,174
♪ But if I could choose a spot ♪

939
01:08:56,257 --> 01:08:58,134
♪ To regurgitate me lot ♪

940
01:08:58,217 --> 01:09:01,596
♪ Then I'd chunder in
the old Pacific sea ♪

941
01:09:01,679 --> 01:09:05,975
♪ Drink it up Drink it up!
Drink it up Drink it up! ♪

942
01:09:06,059 --> 01:09:09,812
ALL: ♪ Crack another dozen
tubes and prawns with me ♪

943
01:09:09,896 --> 01:09:13,650
♪ If you wanna throw your voice
Mate, you won't have any choice ♪

944
01:09:13,733 --> 01:09:16,277
♪ But to chunder in
the old Pacific sea... ♪

945
01:09:16,361 --> 01:09:19,238
All together!
♪ Drink it up Drink it up! ♪

946
01:09:19,322 --> 01:09:21,324
♪ Drink it up Drink it up! ♪

947
01:09:21,407 --> 01:09:24,994
♪ Crack another dozen tubes
and prawns with me ♪

948
01:09:25,078 --> 01:09:28,873
♪ If you wanna throw your voice
Mate, you won't have any choice ♪

949
01:09:28,956 --> 01:09:32,835
♪ But to chunder in the old
Pacific sea ♪

950
01:09:32,919 --> 01:09:40,885
♪ But to chunder in the old
Pacific seat ♪

951
01:09:44,097 --> 01:09:46,182
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

952
01:09:49,977 --> 01:09:51,646
MC: Barry McKenzie!

953
01:09:53,981 --> 01:09:55,608
Barry McKenzie!

954
01:09:58,903 --> 01:10:01,072
Barry McKenzie!

955
01:10:01,656 --> 01:10:05,034
Oh, Barry, you were sensational!

956
01:10:05,118 --> 01:10:07,161
Your voice, your leg movement,
everything.

957
01:10:07,245 --> 01:10:09,455
Yeah, the song went over pretty
bonzer, eh?

958
01:10:09,539 --> 01:10:13,668
He's done it, man! We've got
ourselves a goldmine here!

959
01:10:13,751 --> 01:10:16,170
You mean we've gotta hang on
to the Aussie berk?

960
01:10:16,838 --> 01:10:20,591
What about you and me nipping
outside for a swift knee-trembler?

961
01:10:21,801 --> 01:10:25,304
Mr McKenzie, I presume?
I'm Maurie Miller.

962
01:10:25,388 --> 01:10:30,268
I caught your act tonight. I wonder
if you and I could do a little deal?

963
01:10:30,351 --> 01:10:34,480
Stone the crows! I'm on the verge of doing a little
deal with this Sheila myself! Can I see you later?

964
01:10:34,564 --> 01:10:37,692
No, Barry, it's THE Maurie Miller.
We've got time.

965
01:10:37,775 --> 01:10:42,029
Starve the lizards! No doubt about you sheilas.
First you're coming across, then you're not!

966
01:10:42,113 --> 01:10:47,243
Mr Miller launched groups like
Raspberry Ripple and the Y-Fronts.

967
01:10:47,326 --> 01:10:49,912
He could help you too! Talk to
him!

968
01:10:49,996 --> 01:10:52,790
Glad to know ya.
What can I do youse for?

969
01:10:52,874 --> 01:10:57,795
You have the authentic
Aussie sound, Mr McKenzie.

970
01:10:57,879 --> 01:11:03,050
My organisation will be more
than interested in plugging you.

971
01:11:03,134 --> 01:11:07,889
Come again? I don't like the sound of that.
Don't tell me I've struck another pom poof!

972
01:11:07,972 --> 01:11:12,310
I can sing, I can play the guitar, I'm
great. Couldn't you get me into the charts?

973
01:11:14,103 --> 01:11:18,399
Hey, look at this, man. It's Maurie
Miller moving in on our property.

974
01:11:20,902 --> 01:11:25,323
Cool it will you man, remember we
are McKenzie's exclusive agents.

975
01:11:25,406 --> 01:11:31,037
We'll fix up a deal with old smoothie chops,
that will put us on easy street for keeps.

976
01:11:32,789 --> 01:11:36,793
Fair suck of the sauce bottle, Sport. It's me
and Blanchey that are doing the featuring here

977
01:11:36,876 --> 01:11:38,127
Don't be such a drag.

978
01:11:38,211 --> 01:11:41,339
Most girls would give anything
to be groomed by Maurie Miller.

979
01:11:41,422 --> 01:11:45,218
Is that so? We'll soon flaming see
about that! Listen here, man.

980
01:11:45,301 --> 01:11:48,221
We got an option on this cat.
We got him this gig.

981
01:11:48,304 --> 01:11:51,307
We got a tape, and a worldwide
contract to prove it.

982
01:11:51,390 --> 01:11:55,311
Now look, boys, what's
say we do a little deal?

983
01:11:55,394 --> 01:11:59,065
Most of these guys have got
a limited exposure anyway.

984
01:11:59,148 --> 01:12:00,983
I'd like to buy your tape.

985
01:12:02,401 --> 01:12:04,403
Would this take care of your
trouble?

986
01:12:07,406 --> 01:12:10,409
That just about squares us off,
man.

987
01:12:10,493 --> 01:12:12,829
It's not the bread with us,
you understand,

988
01:12:12,912 --> 01:12:15,039
we just want to get our kind of
music to the kids,

989
01:12:15,122 --> 01:12:18,793
and cut the corrupt establishment
down to size. Right.

990
01:12:18,876 --> 01:12:21,087
Let's pack in these galahs,
Blanche.

991
01:12:21,170 --> 01:12:24,215
Why come the raw prawn when we're
lining up a spot of the old featuring

992
01:12:24,298 --> 01:12:28,636
Quit mauling me, schmuck. I wouldn't
score with you in a million years.

993
01:12:28,719 --> 01:12:32,056
Lay another hand on me, and I'll
call Maurie. You see what I see?

994
01:12:32,139 --> 01:12:34,976
That Aussie berk is feeling up
our Blanche!

995
01:12:35,893 --> 01:12:37,395
I'll scratch him.

996
01:12:38,437 --> 01:12:41,107
Bloody colonial man!

997
01:12:41,190 --> 01:12:42,483
Pommy Bastard!

998
01:12:51,242 --> 01:12:55,496
Don't hassle me man, or you'll get
this jumbuck up your tuckerbag

999
01:12:55,580 --> 01:12:57,456
Skippy screwer!

1000
01:12:59,000 --> 01:13:00,918
No, no, man! I'm a man of peace!

1001
01:13:10,094 --> 01:13:11,679
I'll get the bastard!

1002
01:13:14,599 --> 01:13:15,933
You take the little punk.

1003
01:13:16,017 --> 01:13:17,476
I'll get McKenzie.

1004
01:13:28,696 --> 01:13:31,198
Hey now, hey now, don't hurt me
man.

1005
01:13:32,533 --> 01:13:33,534
Take the money, man.

1006
01:13:45,296 --> 01:13:46,839
I got this one Bazza!

1007
01:13:57,600 --> 01:14:00,603
CROWD YELLING

1008
01:14:12,907 --> 01:14:17,495
Maurie Miller reports a large scale
brawl at the Freedom Arts Factory

1009
01:14:17,578 --> 01:14:25,544
Now, make a note of this. The chief victim is
the new Australian, sensational singing star

1010
01:14:26,087 --> 01:14:27,588
Barry McKenzie

1011
01:15:23,436 --> 01:15:26,605
Er... spear...

1012
01:15:26,689 --> 01:15:29,442
Mum...

1013
01:15:32,069 --> 01:15:34,697
Didgeridoo...

1014
01:15:35,573 --> 01:15:37,074
Get away.

1015
01:15:37,158 --> 01:15:38,659
Er...

1016
01:15:38,743 --> 01:15:40,703
get...

1017
01:15:44,373 --> 01:15:47,168
Oh, I had this dream where I was
an olden-days Australian convict,

1018
01:15:47,251 --> 01:15:49,628
being chased by all these Abos.

1019
01:15:50,504 --> 01:15:52,381
But strewth, this is
flamin' ridiculous!

1020
01:15:52,465 --> 01:15:58,512
Calm down. You were picked up in an appalling condition
in Belsize Park, and brought to this hospital.

1021
01:15:58,596 --> 01:16:01,348
Cripes! Were me underpants clean?
Why do you ask?

1022
01:16:01,766 --> 01:16:07,063
Me old mum would have a stroke if she knew I'd
passed out with skid marks on me Y-fronts. Look,

1023
01:16:07,146 --> 01:16:09,440
where's the snake's house?
I'm dying to point Percy.

1024
01:16:13,569 --> 01:16:17,364
I'm afraid the case is out of my prowess.
Obviously a psychiatric job.

1025
01:16:17,448 --> 01:16:19,200
I'll call DeLamphrey.

1026
01:16:28,584 --> 01:16:31,545
What are you doing?

1027
01:16:31,629 --> 01:16:34,673
There's nothing wrong with me, mate,
that a few ice colds won't fix up.

1028
01:16:35,549 --> 01:16:40,221
I'm not hanging round here having a bunch of
Florence Nightingales cop an eyeful of my equipment.

1029
01:16:41,305 --> 01:16:43,474
Where have the bastards
hidden me strides?

1030
01:16:43,557 --> 01:16:49,188
I warn you, gentlemen, the patient could be a
bit violent, so lace him in tightly, please.

1031
01:16:49,271 --> 01:16:52,483
If he gets a naughty boy,
give him a jab with this.

1032
01:16:52,566 --> 01:16:54,610
Yes, Doctor. Thank you.

1033
01:17:04,620 --> 01:17:08,290
What do you think you're flamin'
doin'?! Pommy bastards!

1034
01:17:08,374 --> 01:17:09,792
I'll tell me Auntie Edna.

1035
01:17:25,099 --> 01:17:32,690
Now, Mr McKenzie, you're back with us. How
are you? I'm sorry about that little incident.

1036
01:17:32,773 --> 01:17:35,401
I'm Dr DeLamphrey,
and I'm here to help...

1037
01:17:35,484 --> 01:17:41,115
Pull your head in. I want you to think
of me as someone you can turn towards.

1038
01:17:41,198 --> 01:17:45,119
What I've heard of your mob, you won't
catch me turning any other way!

1039
01:17:45,202 --> 01:17:48,914
Come, come, Mr McKenzie! Let's
start at the beginning, shall we?

1040
01:17:48,998 --> 01:17:51,375
When did you start
having delusions?

1041
01:17:51,458 --> 01:17:57,173
It all started when I paid through the nose for a
ticket and landed up a shit creek called England.

1042
01:17:57,256 --> 01:18:05,222
So you hate the mother country, do you? What
exactly is your relationship with your own mother?

1043
01:18:05,472 --> 01:18:06,473
I'm her son.

1044
01:18:06,557 --> 01:18:09,185
What about your sex life?
Is it healthy?

1045
01:18:09,268 --> 01:18:13,063
Healthy?! Flaming well should be! Haven't
had a chance to catch anything yet!

1046
01:18:14,440 --> 01:18:17,943
Look, Doc, if you don't stop shooting off
your mouth, I'll chunder on your wall-to-wall.

1047
01:18:18,027 --> 01:18:21,447
What?! I'll chunder, so help me!

1048
01:18:21,530 --> 01:18:22,948
You know, throw the voice!

1049
01:18:23,032 --> 01:18:27,161
Play the whale, laugh at the
ground. Make love to the lav.

1050
01:18:28,329 --> 01:18:33,500
You find my carpet funny?
It makes you laugh? Tell me...

1051
01:18:33,584 --> 01:18:38,756
which particular part of my
carpet amuses you the most?

1052
01:18:38,839 --> 01:18:41,175
You're getting warmer.

1053
01:18:41,258 --> 01:18:45,763
Would it be this particularly
phallic pattern here?

1054
01:18:45,846 --> 01:18:48,599
Am I any warmer?
You're really hot now, Doc.

1055
01:18:51,977 --> 01:18:53,896
Cop that, you rotten pommy
bastard.

1056
01:18:55,231 --> 01:18:59,693
You must feel free to express your aggressions
in whatever way is most natural for you.

1057
01:19:06,825 --> 01:19:08,911
Bella! Hugo!

1058
01:19:10,913 --> 01:19:15,668
Mr McKenzie,
I've got some good news for you.

1059
01:19:15,751 --> 01:19:22,174
You mean you're dying of cancer? Yes. But
apart from that, I've decided to discharge you.

1060
01:19:22,258 --> 01:19:25,511
Boys, unlace him and give
him back his clothes.

1061
01:19:26,136 --> 01:19:29,556
Sorry you've had a rather
uncomfortable day, sir.

1062
01:20:01,505 --> 01:20:04,550
SHE SOBS
I've got the kettle on, Curly.

1063
01:20:16,854 --> 01:20:20,316
Don't worry, Mrs Everage.
Bazza'll be apples.

1064
01:20:30,826 --> 01:20:31,869
Auntie Edna?

1065
01:20:31,952 --> 01:20:33,454
Curl? Barry!

1066
01:20:35,331 --> 01:20:37,541
Where have you been?!

1067
01:20:37,624 --> 01:20:41,420
I even rang the Australian Lord High
Commissioner! I was worried sick!

1068
01:20:41,503 --> 01:20:44,089
Careful, Auntie,
most of me ribs are broken.

1069
01:20:44,173 --> 01:20:47,092
You all right, mate?
Yeah, it's just a broken arm.

1070
01:20:47,176 --> 01:20:49,762
Jeez, we were worried about you,
Bazza. When the fuzz stopped

1071
01:20:49,845 --> 01:20:53,557
the fight, I couldn't find you, so I rang
your Auntie Edna and gave her the drum

1072
01:20:53,640 --> 01:20:57,561
I don't know what I would have told your
mother, Barry I promised her I'd look after you.

1073
01:20:57,644 --> 01:21:00,981
Well, I wound up
in this pom hospital, Auntie.

1074
01:21:01,065 --> 01:21:02,816
He's a ring-a-ding blue, eh,
Curl?

1075
01:21:03,650 --> 01:21:06,070
I kicked that bastard Hoot's
teeth so far down his throat,

1076
01:21:06,153 --> 01:21:08,298
he'll have to put his toothbrush
up his freckle to clean 'em.

1077
01:21:08,322 --> 01:21:11,533
Barrington, if your father was here
now and heard you talking like that

1078
01:21:11,617 --> 01:21:13,535
he'd turn over in his grave.

1079
01:21:13,619 --> 01:21:15,954
Sorry, Auntie Edna,
I got carried away.

1080
01:21:16,830 --> 01:21:20,459
Hope you had a bonza time
with your mate, Madge. Oh Madge.

1081
01:21:20,542 --> 01:21:24,254
Barry, do you remember
Madge's little girl Gaileen?

1082
01:21:24,338 --> 01:21:27,424
When you were toddlers,
she used to play with you.

1083
01:21:27,508 --> 01:21:30,719
Gaileen? I'll say I do, no
WOITI€ES.

1084
01:21:30,803 --> 01:21:32,304
She's a real little bottler.

1085
01:21:32,388 --> 01:21:35,140
I remember her from the Yabby
Creek Sunday school days.

1086
01:21:35,224 --> 01:21:37,893
Well, Barry, Gaileen has been
in the old country now

1087
01:21:37,976 --> 01:21:40,854
for approximately
in the vicinity of two years.

1088
01:21:40,938 --> 01:21:44,149
Madge is just about worried
out of her mind.

1089
01:21:44,233 --> 01:21:47,736
All the time she's been here she's
only seen Gaileen about once

1090
01:21:47,820 --> 01:21:49,446
and she's changed, Barry.

1091
01:21:49,530 --> 01:21:52,449
Madge wants Gaileen to come back
to Australia with her

1092
01:21:52,533 --> 01:21:55,744
but it's like talking to a brick
wall. Gaileen actually seems

1093
01:21:55,828 --> 01:21:58,205
to like it here.
You mean she wants to stay?

1094
01:21:58,288 --> 01:21:59,665
It's mad, isn't it, Curly?

1095
01:21:59,748 --> 01:22:03,877
Here's a snap of Gaileen before she
went on her trip. I'll get the tea.

1096
01:22:03,961 --> 01:22:06,004
What an exceptionally
nice type of lass.

1097
01:22:06,088 --> 01:22:09,716
Er, yes. I'd be up that like a
rat up a drain pipe

1098
01:22:09,800 --> 01:22:13,011
She's even changed her name to
Lesley because it's more English

1099
01:22:13,095 --> 01:22:14,555
and sophisticated.

1100
01:22:14,638 --> 01:22:17,599
Some of the Aussie sheilas get a
bit ratty when they hit London.

1101
01:22:17,683 --> 01:22:21,061
They put on the dog and start
acting like they was Lady Muck.

1102
01:22:21,145 --> 01:22:22,813
Boys! Boys!

1103
01:22:22,896 --> 01:22:25,482
I've got such a nice surprise.

1104
01:22:25,566 --> 01:22:29,820
Your mother sent us some scrumptious things
all the way from sundrenched Australia.

1105
01:22:29,903 --> 01:22:32,114
Close your eyes, close your
eyes!

1106
01:22:36,702 --> 01:22:41,248
A tin of lamingtons and
three jars of vegemite!

1107
01:22:41,331 --> 01:22:43,959
You beaut! Fantastic.

1108
01:22:44,042 --> 01:22:47,963
Leave some for Mr Manners, boys. The best
cook this side of the black stump, no risk!

1109
01:22:48,046 --> 01:22:50,799
I'm going to see Gaileen -
I mean Lesley - tomorrow, Barry.

1110
01:22:50,883 --> 01:22:54,636
You must come and meet her. OK, Auntie
Edna, I'll be in it no worries.

1111
01:22:56,430 --> 01:22:58,223
Not far now, Barry.

1112
01:22:58,307 --> 01:22:58,849
Goodness dear,

1113
01:22:58,932 --> 01:23:03,228
all those poor little English people
living in these identical slums.

1114
01:23:03,312 --> 01:23:06,106
Though they're probably
marvellous by their standards.

1115
01:23:06,190 --> 01:23:08,859
Poms can live in the smell
of an oily rag.

1116
01:23:08,942 --> 01:23:11,236
Can't help feeling sorry
for the poor bludgers though.

1117
01:23:11,320 --> 01:23:13,947
After all, they are a member
of the Commonwealth.

1118
01:23:18,202 --> 01:23:22,456
Excuse me, mate, can you tell us
where Miss Allsop hangs out? Edna?

1119
01:23:22,539 --> 01:23:25,000
Gaileen! My little Gaileen!

1120
01:23:25,083 --> 01:23:27,878
Lesley. Lesley, I'm sorry. What
have they done to you, dear?

1121
01:23:27,961 --> 01:23:30,672
This bloke's a sheila!
You're Barry McKenzie.

1122
01:23:30,756 --> 01:23:33,467
My oath I am. Come on in.

1123
01:23:39,723 --> 01:23:41,517
This is a pal of mine, Claude.

1124
01:23:41,600 --> 01:23:44,269
This is Edna Everage and Barry
McKenzie, they're from Australia.

1125
01:23:44,353 --> 01:23:50,692
Charming. What a damn good-looking
woman you are, Mrs Everage.

1126
01:23:50,776 --> 01:23:53,403
That's sweet of you to say so,
Mr Claude.

1127
01:23:53,487 --> 01:23:56,865
I must say it's a great weight off
my mind to know our little one

1128
01:23:56,949 --> 01:24:00,494
has a nice mature gentleman
like yourself to turn to.

1129
01:24:00,577 --> 01:24:05,457
Jolly decent of you to say so. Now
then, how about wetting the whistle?

1130
01:24:05,541 --> 01:24:09,336
I'll get you a drink. I was going
to ask for a glass of Adam's ale.

1131
01:24:09,419 --> 01:24:13,340
I've never tasted any of your
English drinks before.

1132
01:24:13,423 --> 01:24:15,926
Husband around on this
little cruise, Mrs Everage,

1133
01:24:16,009 --> 01:24:19,012
Or are you your own
skipper, so to speak?

1134
01:24:19,096 --> 01:24:24,685
I'm on my ownsome this time. My hubby
Norm has just had a little op.

1135
01:24:24,768 --> 01:24:28,647
The doctor says it will have
no effect on our married life.

1136
01:24:28,730 --> 01:24:33,402
He hit the nail on the head there.
What will you have, Barry? Hah...

1137
01:24:33,485 --> 01:24:36,572
HE LAUGHS

1138
01:24:36,655 --> 01:24:41,243
Now my shipmate over there, Lesley,
she's got her head screwed on OK.

1139
01:24:41,326 --> 01:24:46,164
London's absolutely teeming
with sex maniacs.

1140
01:24:46,248 --> 01:24:49,167
She wouldn't take a second look
at any of them.

1141
01:24:49,251 --> 01:24:52,462
You've got no beer. Sorry.

1142
01:24:52,546 --> 01:24:57,009
Pour yourself a gin, McKenzie. No
thanks, sport, thanks all the same.

1143
01:24:57,926 --> 01:25:01,805
Hey look Les, how about you and me leave
Auntie Edna talking to the old fella

1144
01:25:01,888 --> 01:25:04,600
and whip down to the local
rubberty for a few swift coldies?

1145
01:25:04,683 --> 01:25:07,936
I can't leave those two
together, wouldn't be decent.

1146
01:25:08,020 --> 01:25:09,438
You've only just arrived.

1147
01:25:09,521 --> 01:25:12,858
Don't come the raw prawn!
What's the matter with you!

1148
01:25:12,941 --> 01:25:16,695
Remember that arvo at the
Yabby Creek Sunday school?

1149
01:25:16,778 --> 01:25:18,881
You know when Rev Hemmings
gave that sermon about those

1150
01:25:18,905 --> 01:25:21,700
randy biblical bastards,
Sodom and Gommorah?

1151
01:25:21,783 --> 01:25:24,995
On the way home we had a dip
in the nuddie? Remember?

1152
01:25:25,078 --> 01:25:30,626
Jeez, did you cop it from your mum!
They were snidger days.

1153
01:25:30,709 --> 01:25:33,420
You know, you and my husband
Norm are as different

1154
01:25:33,503 --> 01:25:35,255
as chalk and cheese underneath.

1155
01:25:35,339 --> 01:25:36,798
Hm-mm. I'm sure we are.

1156
01:25:37,924 --> 01:25:39,760
The boozer's around the corner.

1157
01:25:39,843 --> 01:25:42,137
Nothing much can happen while
we have a few swift drains.

1158
01:25:42,220 --> 01:25:44,681
It's lovely to see Gaileen,
I mean Lesley.

1159
01:25:44,765 --> 01:25:47,392
You know, her mother was
a bridesmaid of mine.

1160
01:25:47,476 --> 01:25:49,936
Won't be a sec, just popping
to the pub for a few ciggies.

1161
01:25:50,020 --> 01:25:51,730
See you soon, Auntie Edna.

1162
01:25:57,402 --> 01:26:00,864
Have you ever dipped into
The Well Of Loneliness?

1163
01:26:00,947 --> 01:26:04,868
I can't say I've perused a
publication in donkeys' years.

1164
01:26:07,204 --> 01:26:09,581
Hey, Les, I like the look
of old Claudie,

1165
01:26:09,665 --> 01:26:11,083
built like a brick shithouse.

1166
01:26:11,166 --> 01:26:14,252
Sometimes I think you're
a shingle short, Bazza.

1167
01:26:19,383 --> 01:26:23,178
Righto, sport. Line us up a few of
those soapy suds you call beer.

1168
01:26:23,261 --> 01:26:25,013
Aussie trade.

1169
01:26:25,097 --> 01:26:28,600
Come on! Put on a spurt,
or I'll drop you, you bastard!

1170
01:26:37,901 --> 01:26:38,944
Ta.

1171
01:26:39,027 --> 01:26:41,697
This must be the place where all
those top mannequins hang out.

1172
01:26:47,703 --> 01:26:49,996
Ahhhh! Lovely!

1173
01:26:50,080 --> 01:26:52,207
Never felt it touch the sides.

1174
01:26:54,000 --> 01:26:55,961
Look, er, Les,

1175
01:26:56,044 --> 01:27:01,007
what say you and me negotiate a few
frosties at feeding the feature?

1176
01:27:01,091 --> 01:27:02,801
Look darling, you've got the
wrong lady.

1177
01:27:02,884 --> 01:27:05,887
I've had the old hetero scene
and it's a drag.

1178
01:27:05,971 --> 01:27:08,390
Edna probably didn't tell you,
but I've got a baby.

1179
01:27:08,473 --> 01:27:09,891
Tell me again?

1180
01:27:09,975 --> 01:27:14,062
I was just a young, innocent Australian
physiotherapist lost in London,

1181
01:27:14,146 --> 01:27:15,981
fell for this creep from
Granada.

1182
01:27:16,064 --> 01:27:17,899
You mean you got hitched to a
wog?

1183
01:27:17,983 --> 01:27:19,401
You must be joking!

1184
01:27:19,484 --> 01:27:21,695
Granada's a TV company.

1185
01:27:21,778 --> 01:27:23,697
Dominic did arty features
for the telly.

1186
01:27:25,699 --> 01:27:27,701
But we split up.
He got custody of Samantha.

1187
01:27:27,784 --> 01:27:30,662
Features on the telly?
Strike me pink, he was game!

1188
01:27:30,746 --> 01:27:32,372
Was his face covered?

1189
01:27:34,958 --> 01:27:37,919
Ahhh! Look, Les...

1190
01:27:38,003 --> 01:27:40,297
those frosties have gone
straight to the old fella.

1191
01:27:40,380 --> 01:27:43,717
Hang on, I'll whip off to the
snakes house and water the horses.

1192
01:27:43,800 --> 01:27:46,136
Don't be too long splashing
the lovely boots.

1193
01:27:46,219 --> 01:27:49,264
We don't want Edna and Claude
to hurry their relationship.

1194
01:28:00,776 --> 01:28:02,027
Excuse me, sir.

1195
01:28:02,110 --> 01:28:03,695
Have you the time?

1196
01:28:03,779 --> 01:28:06,740
Sorry, but if you hang on for a few
jiffs, I'll give you the good oil.

1197
01:28:06,823 --> 01:28:09,826
In point of established fact,
at the present period of time,

1198
01:28:09,910 --> 01:28:12,138
my watch wrist is shaking hands
with me wife's best friend.

1199
01:28:12,162 --> 01:28:14,247
I'm sorry, but anything
you say in future

1200
01:28:14,331 --> 01:28:16,267
will be taken down and used in
evidence against you.

1201
01:28:16,291 --> 01:28:17,876
Come off it! What's on the go?

1202
01:28:17,959 --> 01:28:20,378
Can't a bloke point Percy
at the pommy porcelain

1203
01:28:20,462 --> 01:28:22,506
without some bastard
coming the raw prawn?

1204
01:28:22,589 --> 01:28:24,758
I'm an officer of the law, sir.

1205
01:28:24,841 --> 01:28:27,844
I've had my eye on you and your
friend for some time.

1206
01:28:27,928 --> 01:28:29,137
What's in the bag?

1207
01:28:30,055 --> 01:28:33,183
Stone the flaming crows!
Now I've heard the lot!

1208
01:28:33,266 --> 01:28:35,435
If you wanna know it's
just a few personal effects.

1209
01:28:36,520 --> 01:28:38,200
Well, if you don't believe me,
have a look.

1210
01:28:57,582 --> 01:28:59,292
Female attire, I see, sir.

1211
01:28:59,376 --> 01:29:02,212
You're in rather a serious
situation, I'm afraid, sir.

1212
01:29:03,421 --> 01:29:06,633
Jeez, I must have picked up my
Auntie Edna's Qantas bag by mistake.

1213
01:29:06,716 --> 01:29:10,303
Look, these female garments
belong to a sheila.

1214
01:29:10,387 --> 01:29:12,430
What do you take me for,
a poofter or something?

1215
01:29:12,514 --> 01:29:16,101
I'm not making any accusations, but
you'll have to come along with me.

1216
01:29:16,184 --> 01:29:19,646
Look, you pom perv, these
garments wouldn't even fit me.

1217
01:29:19,729 --> 01:29:23,024
Give us 'em here and I'll duck
behind this dunny door and prove it.

1218
01:29:43,920 --> 01:29:47,007
There, you see! Wouldn't be seen
dead in this lot.

1219
01:29:47,090 --> 01:29:48,884
I look like a ravin' ratbag.

1220
01:29:50,552 --> 01:29:52,679
It fits like a glove.

1221
01:29:52,762 --> 01:29:55,515
I'm afraid you're under arrest,
Sir.

1222
01:29:56,016 --> 01:29:58,351
Catch me first, you pommy
bastard!

1223
01:30:01,938 --> 01:30:04,733
Hey, mate!
Ha! It's Waltzing Matilda!

1224
01:30:04,816 --> 01:30:07,569
Bazza, you could have fooled me.
Why didn't you say you were ACDC?

1225
01:30:07,652 --> 01:30:10,614
I've gotta shoot through.
That bastard's a flamin' blue.

1226
01:30:14,659 --> 01:30:17,078
Which way did that
Aussie bastard go?

1227
01:30:17,162 --> 01:30:18,496
That way, darling.

1228
01:30:18,580 --> 01:30:19,748
Great idea!

1229
01:30:34,763 --> 01:30:36,473
Hey down here!

1230
01:30:42,896 --> 01:30:45,732
Why stop here? Take off your
drag and I'll slip into it.

1231
01:30:49,444 --> 01:30:52,572
It's against my principles, but it
might throw the fuzz off the scent.

1232
01:30:52,656 --> 01:30:53,656
Here!

1233
01:31:20,684 --> 01:31:23,269
Oh! Excuse me.

1234
01:31:25,730 --> 01:31:29,693
Excuse I, Les, but I reckon you look
a bit of all right in that outfit!

1235
01:31:30,819 --> 01:31:32,672
Funny, I haven't worn a frock
since Dominic left me

1236
01:31:32,696 --> 01:31:35,198
and I met my sympathetic
friend, Claude.

1237
01:31:35,281 --> 01:31:37,409
I feel rather queer inside.

1238
01:31:37,492 --> 01:31:39,160
I mean, I don't feel
rather queer inside.

1239
01:31:39,244 --> 01:31:43,790
You wanna know what I thought when I got a
deco of that photo of yous. No, darling, what?

1240
01:31:43,873 --> 01:31:45,667
I thought, "Kiss my bum”,

1241
01:31:45,750 --> 01:31:47,670
"if that sheila wouldn't bang
like a dunny door."

1242
01:31:49,045 --> 01:31:52,215
Excuse I, Les. I realise that
was a bit on the crudey side.

1243
01:31:52,298 --> 01:31:53,985
I only got into this kinky gear
to save your skin,

1244
01:31:54,009 --> 01:31:56,729
so don't come the raw prawn with me,
or so help me, I'll flatten you.

1245
01:31:56,803 --> 01:31:59,556
Sorry, sport,
you're a real white man!

1246
01:31:59,639 --> 01:32:01,516
I don't blame you
for going a bit crook,

1247
01:32:01,599 --> 01:32:04,102
but I just wanted to ascertain
if you're one of those sheilas

1248
01:32:04,185 --> 01:32:05,562
that went off like an alarm
clock.

1249
01:32:06,271 --> 01:32:08,273
Tell you, that blue
fairly put the wind up me.

1250
01:32:08,356 --> 01:32:09,607
OK, forget it.

1251
01:32:09,691 --> 01:32:12,444
Let's split, we better
get back to Edna and Claude.

1252
01:32:27,625 --> 01:32:30,170
Hang on, Les! There's that
flamin' dick over there.

1253
01:32:32,130 --> 01:32:35,508
Strewth! He's worse
than an abo black tracker.

1254
01:32:37,677 --> 01:32:39,971
Hey! Let's whip into this motion
picture palace here

1255
01:32:40,055 --> 01:32:41,848
and we'll hang low for a while,
OK?

1256
01:32:42,640 --> 01:32:43,641
I wonder what's on.

1257
01:32:43,725 --> 01:32:47,729
Barons Court! Beauty! I can always
go to one of those olden day shows.

1258
01:32:48,354 --> 01:32:50,565
Hang on! It's an underground
movie.

1259
01:32:50,648 --> 01:32:52,484
I've heard they're a bit
on the crudey side,

1260
01:32:52,567 --> 01:32:54,235
but let's give it a burl, eh?

1261
01:32:55,695 --> 01:32:56,905
Barry!

1262
01:33:01,951 --> 01:33:04,579
The bastard flogged me
the wrong tickets!

1263
01:33:04,662 --> 01:33:08,249
It's not the flicks, it's a
flamin' underground railway.

1264
01:33:12,837 --> 01:33:15,840
Oh! There's that
advertisement again!

1265
01:33:16,800 --> 01:33:18,510
Hope none of me mates see it.

1266
01:33:25,934 --> 01:33:28,812
God! Don't look now, Barry,
I've just seen my husband.

1267
01:33:30,522 --> 01:33:32,565
Who? That arty looking bastard
over there?

1268
01:33:34,484 --> 01:33:35,610
It isn't?

1269
01:33:36,694 --> 01:33:38,363
Good God, it is!

1270
01:33:38,446 --> 01:33:40,281
Lesley!

1271
01:33:42,283 --> 01:33:44,244
How terribly camp to see you!

1272
01:33:44,327 --> 01:33:46,079
What a super little giggle!

1273
01:33:46,162 --> 01:33:49,040
Oh, Dominic, I've missed you
somewhere deep down.

1274
01:33:49,124 --> 01:33:50,542
You still on the telly caper?

1275
01:33:50,625 --> 01:33:53,419
Same old rat race!
Trying to keep up the mortgage.

1276
01:33:53,503 --> 01:33:57,423
Excuse I, you two, but I feel like a
spare tonk in a knock-shop wedding.

1277
01:33:57,507 --> 01:33:59,968
Sorry, I haven't introduced
you two incurables.

1278
01:34:00,051 --> 01:34:02,303
This is Barry McKenzie.
This is Dominic.

1279
01:34:02,387 --> 01:34:04,347
We once had something
very big together.

1280
01:34:04,430 --> 01:34:06,724
Yeah, Lesley told me
you had a kiddie.

1281
01:34:06,808 --> 01:34:07,976
Glad to know you.

1282
01:34:08,059 --> 01:34:10,061
You're in the entertainment
business?

1283
01:34:10,145 --> 01:34:11,938
Must be really pulling in
the notes!

1284
01:34:12,021 --> 01:34:15,942
Lesley, where did you find this
extraordinary, exotic creature?

1285
01:34:16,025 --> 01:34:18,862
Is he for real? Listen, don't
come the raw prawn with me

1286
01:34:18,945 --> 01:34:21,507
or I'll show you what you can do
with the rough end of a pineapple.

1287
01:34:21,531 --> 01:34:23,533
I don't like long-haired
pommy bastards

1288
01:34:23,616 --> 01:34:26,327
who get nice sheilas up the
duff, then shoot through.

1289
01:34:26,411 --> 01:34:29,056
If I had a tart with a bun in the
oven, I'd flamin' take care of her!

1290
01:34:29,080 --> 01:34:32,333
Er, let's not get too terribly
intense, shall we?

1291
01:34:33,459 --> 01:34:34,459
Thank you.

1292
01:34:34,502 --> 01:34:38,214
Lesley, how's that dykey friend
of yours, you know, um...

1293
01:34:38,298 --> 01:34:40,800
Claude! I forgot. She's alone
in the flat with Edna.

1294
01:34:40,884 --> 01:34:42,510
We can't just leave them.

1295
01:34:42,594 --> 01:34:44,137
Well, fair suck on the sauce
pipe.

1296
01:34:44,220 --> 01:34:47,307
Claude seems like an exceptionally
nice type of bloke to me.

1297
01:34:47,390 --> 01:34:50,226
If he'd come the grope with
Auntie Edna, the Pope's a jew!

1298
01:34:50,310 --> 01:34:52,645
I've just had
the most fabulous idea!

1299
01:34:52,729 --> 01:34:54,397
I'm on the way
to the television studio,

1300
01:34:54,480 --> 01:34:57,317
we're doing a live programme
on Australians in London.

1301
01:34:57,400 --> 01:35:00,278
Why don't you come along -
you're very colourful!

1302
01:35:00,361 --> 01:35:04,782
You'd pick up a few quid, and I'd
really love to use you, old fella!

1303
01:35:04,866 --> 01:35:05,867
Come again?

1304
01:35:05,950 --> 01:35:09,412
I'd need a stack of greenies before
I flashed the old fella on TV.

1305
01:35:09,495 --> 01:35:12,415
What'd me mates say? Seeing me
point Percy at the public?

1306
01:35:12,498 --> 01:35:15,752
What about Edna and Claude? That's
all right, I can send a taxi,

1307
01:35:15,835 --> 01:35:18,463
pick them up, bring them
along to the studio. Right?

1308
01:35:18,546 --> 01:35:19,589
Right.

1309
01:35:26,262 --> 01:35:28,765
Make sure it's a nice
Aussie suntan, girlie.

1310
01:35:28,848 --> 01:35:31,643
Don't want one of those pommy
gooseberries and cream complexions.

1311
01:35:31,726 --> 01:35:34,270
I have to see the exec about
your appearance, Barry.

1312
01:35:34,354 --> 01:35:37,690
When you're finished here, just come along
the corridor to the viewing theatre,

1313
01:35:37,774 --> 01:35:39,567
we've got some drinks laid on.
Right?

1314
01:35:39,651 --> 01:35:42,946
Lovely, Dommie. See you, Bazza.
Bye, Les.

1315
01:35:43,029 --> 01:35:45,865
I'll just take these bags away
from under your eyes.

1316
01:35:46,532 --> 01:35:48,993
Leave them there as long as you
like as far as I'm concerned.

1317
01:35:51,996 --> 01:35:54,958
Ah, fair suck of the pineapple!
I'm as red as an oyster!

1318
01:35:55,041 --> 01:35:57,585
You'll look normal on the
screen, Mr McKenzie.

1319
01:36:00,129 --> 01:36:02,674
I might touch you up
later in the studio.

1320
01:36:02,757 --> 01:36:04,842
I'll be in that like a shot,
miss.

1321
01:36:04,926 --> 01:36:06,761
Don't you think it'd be more
romantic

1322
01:36:06,844 --> 01:36:08,388
in the privacy of the toilet?

1323
01:36:14,519 --> 01:36:17,021
WOMAN SCREAMS

1324
01:36:17,105 --> 01:36:18,856
Strewth! I thought I'd lost you!

1325
01:36:18,940 --> 01:36:21,401
Not your own clothes, eh?

1326
01:36:21,484 --> 01:36:23,736
Now, I suppose you can explain
this.

1327
01:36:23,820 --> 01:36:25,446
You're under arrest...

1328
01:36:27,865 --> 01:36:29,826
WOMAN SCREAMS

1329
01:36:29,909 --> 01:36:32,412
Don't do that, I can assure you
it's all a mistake.

1330
01:36:32,495 --> 01:36:34,956
I'm a detective.

1331
01:36:41,045 --> 01:36:43,381
Oh, you must be Mr McKenzie.

1332
01:36:43,464 --> 01:36:45,466
Mr Fry warned... told me about
you.

1333
01:36:45,550 --> 01:36:48,344
Come and have a few
drinks before the show.

1334
01:36:48,428 --> 01:36:51,806
Sure! I'll be a flamin' codcase if
I don't get an amber transfusion.

1335
01:36:51,889 --> 01:36:54,017
These are our other
Australian guests.

1336
01:36:54,100 --> 01:36:57,645
Hi. How are you? Where are you from?
Maroubra, mate. Yeah.

1337
01:36:57,729 --> 01:36:59,814
Are these your paintings? Yeah.

1338
01:36:59,897 --> 01:37:01,607
What's that one called -
The Lonely Nappy?

1339
01:37:10,033 --> 01:37:12,118
You haven't got any beer again?

1340
01:37:15,580 --> 01:37:18,583
GROUP TALKING

1341
01:37:22,920 --> 01:37:26,341
Do you know Stockhausen? Well,
I've never been there, but...

1342
01:37:26,424 --> 01:37:28,468
Hello, Curl! It's Baz here.

1343
01:37:28,551 --> 01:37:31,387
I'm on the telly tonight.
Yeah! The BBC!

1344
01:37:31,471 --> 01:37:33,890
Some programme about Australians
in London or something.

1345
01:37:33,973 --> 01:37:35,850
Are the fellers there?

1346
01:37:37,185 --> 01:37:40,229
Get 'em together and jump in a
taxi, get yourself over here.

1347
01:37:40,313 --> 01:37:42,607
I'm going to see what's happened
to Edna and Claude.

1348
01:37:46,277 --> 01:37:50,865
Oh, my God! Edna! Hello, Lesley!
Claude! Come inside!

1349
01:37:50,948 --> 01:37:53,743
Courtesy will cost you nothing,
Lesley.

1350
01:37:57,663 --> 01:38:00,500
The other Australian guests
are all artists...

1351
01:38:00,583 --> 01:38:02,502
Claude, what have you done to
Edna?

1352
01:38:02,585 --> 01:38:06,214
What do you think you're doing tracking
square like that, in that ridiculous outfit?

1353
01:38:06,297 --> 01:38:08,007
I must say, Lesley, it's a
relief

1354
01:38:08,091 --> 01:38:10,134
to see you looking a little bit
more feminine.

1355
01:38:11,552 --> 01:38:15,264
You invited us, Lesley. You
mustn't be rude to Mr Claude.

1356
01:38:15,348 --> 01:38:17,850
You rang and invited us
to this fancy dress party.

1357
01:38:17,934 --> 01:38:20,520
He lent me some of his clothes.

1358
01:38:20,603 --> 01:38:22,897
He's a bit of a wag.

1359
01:38:22,980 --> 01:38:25,525
I've got a bloody good idea
what she suggested.

1360
01:38:25,608 --> 01:38:26,984
Oh, relax, Lesley!

1361
01:38:27,068 --> 01:38:29,946
Lesley, are you inferring
we played hospitals?

1362
01:38:30,029 --> 01:38:32,990
GROUP SHOUTING

1363
01:38:41,249 --> 01:38:42,959
G'day fellers!

1364
01:38:43,918 --> 01:38:45,586
Barry, Barry!

1365
01:38:45,670 --> 01:38:47,255
Who in the hell
are all these people?

1366
01:38:47,338 --> 01:38:49,316
Some of me mates have come
to see me on the TV, Dom.

1367
01:38:49,340 --> 01:38:51,509
Hey fellas this is me mate
Dominic.

1368
01:38:51,592 --> 01:38:56,264
OK, look, just keep them in here
with the drink. All right?

1369
01:38:56,347 --> 01:38:58,266
Yeah, lovely. Keep them here!

1370
01:38:59,350 --> 01:39:02,603
I hope to God none of this lot
get loose round the building.

1371
01:39:02,687 --> 01:39:04,063
What is it?

1372
01:39:04,939 --> 01:39:06,149
Yes?

1373
01:39:11,863 --> 01:39:14,699
What's wrong darling? Bloody
police looking for somebody.

1374
01:39:14,782 --> 01:39:17,743
I said everybody here was
working on the program.

1375
01:39:17,827 --> 01:39:19,745
Australian wildlife.

1376
01:39:19,829 --> 01:39:22,748
All right, fellers, get stuck
into the chilled article.

1377
01:39:22,832 --> 01:39:24,876
Problem sits down the hall,
right.

1378
01:39:24,959 --> 01:39:27,253
How do they do it?
I remember Bazza from way back.

1379
01:39:27,336 --> 01:39:32,133
We used to get up to a bit of rod-whalloping
together behind the school board at Trumper Park.

1380
01:39:32,216 --> 01:39:34,218
Get us another one, will you,
Curl?

1381
01:39:34,302 --> 01:39:36,596
I'm as dry as a medieval monk's
manuscript.

1382
01:39:36,679 --> 01:39:39,515
You wanna watch yourself
if you're gonna talk on TV.

1383
01:39:39,599 --> 01:39:40,683
Yeah? Yeah.

1384
01:39:40,766 --> 01:39:43,644
Jeez drobber you're as full as a
state school.

1385
01:39:43,728 --> 01:39:47,482
Lesley, I don't know
where we went wrong.

1386
01:39:47,565 --> 01:39:50,318
I'm sure it was 50% your
fault...

1387
01:39:50,401 --> 01:39:52,945
I'm going down to the studio.
Right.

1388
01:39:53,029 --> 01:39:56,073
I'd better go and chat up Barry's
aunt, all right? Yeah do.

1389
01:39:57,241 --> 01:39:58,701
G'day, Les.

1390
01:40:00,077 --> 01:40:02,538
Barry, I've learned to
appreciate men again today.

1391
01:40:02,622 --> 01:40:04,665
You've done something for me.
Yeah?

1392
01:40:04,749 --> 01:40:06,209
Let's get together after the
show

1393
01:40:06,292 --> 01:40:08,586
and I'll drop me dacks and yell
the magic word!

1394
01:40:08,669 --> 01:40:10,630
No, you don't grab my gist.

1395
01:40:11,589 --> 01:40:14,175
Dominic and I are giving
ourselves a second chance.

1396
01:40:14,258 --> 01:40:18,554
Alright everybody. Let's go down to the
studio, we're due on in two minutes, right?

1397
01:40:18,638 --> 01:40:21,599
ALL CHATTER AT ONCE

1398
01:40:24,644 --> 01:40:26,062
See you, fellers!

1399
01:40:26,145 --> 01:40:27,480
See you, mate!

1400
01:40:29,398 --> 01:40:32,318
OK Baz, we'll sit by the telly, mate.
Plenty of piss here — we're right.

1401
01:40:50,419 --> 01:40:51,796
Hey, turn the light off, Rocky!

1402
01:40:51,879 --> 01:40:54,757
'Once again, are the main points
from the news.

1403
01:40:54,840 --> 01:40:57,927
'The undertakers' strike
is now in its third day.

1404
01:40:58,010 --> 01:41:00,721
'The Queen has a slight chill
and all...'

1405
01:41:00,805 --> 01:41:02,974
Right, let's go.

1406
01:41:04,267 --> 01:41:07,478
'The leprosy epidemic, which has
been spreading south from Liverpool

1407
01:41:07,562 --> 01:41:09,897
'is believed to have reached
London.

1408
01:41:09,981 --> 01:41:11,792
'However, a spokesman
from the London leprosarium

1409
01:41:11,816 --> 01:41:14,735
'said tonight there was still no need
to declare a state of emergency.'

1410
01:41:14,819 --> 01:41:16,195
Can I take that Mr McKenzie?

1411
01:41:16,279 --> 01:41:21,284
'..As the number of leprosy cases reported
can be counted on the finger of two hands.'

1412
01:41:21,367 --> 01:41:23,035
McKenzie, let me see.

1413
01:41:24,370 --> 01:41:25,955
'And now Midnight Oil,

1414
01:41:26,038 --> 01:41:28,332
'a weekly survey of the arts
in Britain today.'

1415
01:41:28,416 --> 01:41:30,293
Over here, fellers, he's on!

1416
01:41:30,376 --> 01:41:33,170
'..A study of Australians in
Britain.'

1417
01:41:34,171 --> 01:41:36,882
INTRO MUSIC STARTS

1418
01:41:42,096 --> 01:41:44,098
Ten to go.

1419
01:41:49,478 --> 01:41:52,815
Off the set, off the set!
Barry! Barry, dear!

1420
01:41:52,898 --> 01:41:54,609
G'day, Auntie Edna!

1421
01:41:55,276 --> 01:41:56,360
And you're on, Joan.

1422
01:41:57,111 --> 01:42:00,072
Good evening and welcome again
to Midnight Oil,

1423
01:42:00,156 --> 01:42:03,075
Britain's leading
current affairs programme.

1424
01:42:03,159 --> 01:42:08,623
Most of us Europeans think of Australia
as a tough uncompromising land,

1425
01:42:08,706 --> 01:42:11,125
stricken by drought and flood,

1426
01:42:11,208 --> 01:42:18,591
and inhabited by kangaroos and tough,
insensitive foul-mouthed, beer-swilling boors.

1427
01:42:18,674 --> 01:42:21,594
ALL SHOUT AT ONCE

1428
01:42:21,677 --> 01:42:27,016
A seemingly insensitive land has produced
more than its fair share of artistic talents

1429
01:42:27,099 --> 01:42:30,269
in every branch of creative
activity known to man.

1430
01:42:30,353 --> 01:42:34,440
Who can forget the immortal
talents of a Dame Nellie Melba?

1431
01:42:34,523 --> 01:42:37,985
A Don Bradman? A Ned Kelly?
Ah, beauty!

1432
01:42:38,069 --> 01:42:41,238
Let's go and watch him in the
studio.

1433
01:42:41,322 --> 01:42:44,784
And continues unabated with
thousands of young Australians

1434
01:42:44,867 --> 01:42:46,827
coming to London every year,

1435
01:42:46,911 --> 01:42:51,707
revitalising and rejuvenating
the flagging...

1436
01:42:51,791 --> 01:42:53,417
European culture.

1437
01:42:53,501 --> 01:42:56,879
Well, we have some of those
young Australians here tonight

1438
01:42:56,962 --> 01:42:59,090
and they're going to
give us a taste, hopefully

1439
01:42:59,173 --> 01:43:04,011
of the new lifestyle down under. Mr
McKenzie, perhaps I can begin with you?

1440
01:43:04,095 --> 01:43:05,930
Oh, my God!

1441
01:43:06,013 --> 01:43:10,476
Can you tell me which artists have made the
greatest impression on you in Britain?

1442
01:43:10,559 --> 01:43:12,228
Bull artists. G'day mate!

1443
01:43:13,145 --> 01:43:14,855
Cut to one! G'day, fellers.

1444
01:43:14,939 --> 01:43:18,693
Do you agree with the cynics who say
English culture is going to the dogs?

1445
01:43:18,776 --> 01:43:22,363
I'll buy that! Flaming dogs have left
that many William llls on the footpath

1446
01:43:22,446 --> 01:43:26,158
it's a wonder more people don't slip
and break their necks. Brilliant!

1447
01:43:26,242 --> 01:43:30,204
Mr McKenzie, what do you feel
about English girls?

1448
01:43:30,287 --> 01:43:32,581
Pommy sheilas?
Oh, they're apples, I suppose,

1449
01:43:32,665 --> 01:43:35,143
but to tell you the truth, the way
I feel at the moment I'm that full

1450
01:43:35,167 --> 01:43:39,296
that if a nice potato peeler walked past
flashing a lovely pair of fun bags,

1451
01:43:39,380 --> 01:43:42,174
I ascertain there'd be
a sad case of brewer's droop.

1452
01:43:42,258 --> 01:43:44,301
I'm afraid, I don't
quite see your point.

1453
01:43:44,385 --> 01:43:46,262
Me point? Well, cop this then!

1454
01:43:47,638 --> 01:43:49,265
Fade up the music!

1455
01:43:51,892 --> 01:43:53,686
Go to one again.

1456
01:43:57,398 --> 01:43:59,275
That's right! Keep the zoom on
it.

1457
01:44:00,067 --> 01:44:01,444
You fiend!

1458
01:44:04,572 --> 01:44:06,866
Go right in on it.
I want the whole thing.

1459
01:44:09,493 --> 01:44:10,953
Lose the boom shadow.

1460
01:44:11,036 --> 01:44:13,456
The Director's on the line.
Damn the Director General!

1461
01:44:13,539 --> 01:44:15,040
This is a television
breakthrough.

1462
01:44:17,543 --> 01:44:20,421
A rare moment -
a flash of spontaneity.

1463
01:44:20,504 --> 01:44:24,091
If I ever get out of here.
I'll kill him!

1464
01:44:24,175 --> 01:44:26,260
<i>Go 10 one! Get him out of it
Go 10 one!</i>

1465
01:44:26,343 --> 01:44:29,388
You must be either mad or drunk,
that man can get us off the air.

1466
01:44:29,472 --> 01:44:31,658
Get him out of it! I don't know
what you're talking about.

1467
01:44:31,682 --> 01:44:35,352
Mr McKenzie's a distinguished
Australian intellectual. Go to one!

1468
01:44:37,104 --> 01:44:40,024
ALL SHOUT AT ONCE

1469
01:44:49,033 --> 01:44:52,286
It is McKenzie! He's mad!

1470
01:44:54,830 --> 01:44:58,292
Er, following those unorthodox
views of Barry McKenzie

1471
01:44:58,375 --> 01:45:01,420
we turn to another member
of the panel...

1472
01:45:02,671 --> 01:45:03,839
Hello, sir?

1473
01:45:03,923 --> 01:45:06,217
Hello, yes, I'm terribly sorry,
Sir,

1474
01:45:06,300 --> 01:45:10,137
but somebody must have let that
Australian yobbo onto the set.

1475
01:45:10,221 --> 01:45:13,474
I-I really couldn't do
anything about it, and I...

1476
01:45:15,559 --> 01:45:17,311
You did, sir?

1477
01:45:17,978 --> 01:45:20,314
Thank you very much indeed, sir.

1478
01:45:20,397 --> 01:45:21,982
It's very good of you to say so,

1479
01:45:22,066 --> 01:45:25,903
I thought I saw a certain
potential there.

1480
01:45:25,986 --> 01:45:29,073
This dichotomy is explored
in my latest work

1481
01:45:29,156 --> 01:45:31,033
through the multiplanar...

1482
01:45:31,116 --> 01:45:32,827
God bless you, sir.

1483
01:45:32,910 --> 01:45:35,246
Thank you very much indeed, sir.

1484
01:45:35,329 --> 01:45:36,872
Bye.

1485
01:45:38,082 --> 01:45:39,291
He loved it!

1486
01:45:39,375 --> 01:45:41,502
He said it was a pointed
condemnation

1487
01:45:41,585 --> 01:45:43,838
of an effete western society.

1488
01:45:43,921 --> 01:45:46,006
The Bishop of Wapping
wants an action replay.

1489
01:45:46,090 --> 01:45:48,551
Is highlighted in my work

1490
01:45:48,634 --> 01:45:51,220
through the organic
reinterpretation...

1491
01:45:52,012 --> 01:45:53,973
Jeez, it's warm in here!

1492
01:45:54,056 --> 01:45:55,641
Warm, we're on bloody fire!

1493
01:45:55,724 --> 01:45:58,143
You're under arrest!
You're under arrest!

1494
01:46:01,856 --> 01:46:04,692
PHONE RINGS

1495
01:46:08,279 --> 01:46:11,365
What were the rest doing,
standing doing sweet FA?

1496
01:46:11,448 --> 01:46:14,493
Hey, if you bastards form
yourselves into a chain gang

1497
01:46:14,577 --> 01:46:16,829
and keep us well supplied
with the chilled article,

1498
01:46:16,912 --> 01:46:20,082
I reckon our old one-eyed
trouser snake can do the rest.

1499
01:46:20,165 --> 01:46:21,458
Great idea, Curl!

1500
01:46:25,129 --> 01:46:27,673
♪ When the bushfires hit
Australia ♪

1501
01:46:27,756 --> 01:46:29,842
♪ In the middle of a drought ♪

1502
01:46:29,925 --> 01:46:34,305
♪ The fella's used their trouser
snakes to put the buggers out ♪

1503
01:46:34,388 --> 01:46:38,142
♪ Why call the flaming fire
brigade to save the BBC? ♪

1504
01:46:38,225 --> 01:46:42,438
♪ If you fill us up with Fosters,
we'll put it out for free ♪

1505
01:46:42,521 --> 01:46:44,690
♪ Oh me one-eyed trouser snake ♪

1506
01:46:44,773 --> 01:46:46,901
♪ Oh me one-eyed trouser snake ♪

1507
01:46:46,984 --> 01:46:51,196
♪ God help is if we ever lost
our one-eyed trouser snake ♪

1508
01:46:51,280 --> 01:46:52,656
♪ Oh me one-eyed trouser snake ♪

1509
01:46:52,740 --> 01:46:54,950
♪ Oh me one-eyed trouser snake ♪

1510
01:46:55,034 --> 01:46:59,371
♪ God help is if we ever lost
our one-eyed trouser snake ♪

1511
01:46:59,455 --> 01:47:01,290
♪ Oh me one-eyed trouser snake ♪

1512
01:47:01,373 --> 01:47:04,084
♪ Oh me one-eyed trouser snake ♪

1513
01:47:04,168 --> 01:47:07,922
♪ God help is if we ever lost
our one-eyed trouser snake... ♪

1514
01:47:08,005 --> 01:47:09,924
All right, McKenzie, no getting
away this time.

1515
01:47:10,007 --> 01:47:12,801
You're under arrest for assaulting a
police officer, resisting arrest,

1516
01:47:12,885 --> 01:47:16,221
drunk and disorderly, female
impersonation, offensive behaviour,

1517
01:47:16,305 --> 01:47:19,183
offensive language
and gross public indecency.

1518
01:47:19,266 --> 01:47:21,101
I warned... Oh, bloody fire
brigade!

1519
01:47:21,185 --> 01:47:23,187
Push off, Bazza,
we're blind at the bastard!

1520
01:47:23,270 --> 01:47:26,398
If that's the fire brigade, they're
testing a new type of hose.

1521
01:47:26,482 --> 01:47:29,693
You crude colonial swine.

1522
01:47:29,777 --> 01:47:32,446
Oh, Barry, get out of here
for goodness' sake.

1523
01:47:35,324 --> 01:47:39,411
Now you just come into the powder
room with me, there's a good girl.

1524
01:47:41,038 --> 01:47:43,457
Barry, that was the last straw!

1525
01:47:45,626 --> 01:47:48,212
Come on! You'll be the death
of me, Barry. Sorry...

1526
01:47:48,295 --> 01:47:50,464
Don't "sorry” me!
You turn your back.

1527
01:47:50,547 --> 01:47:53,175
I'll change into something
more feminine.

1528
01:47:54,635 --> 01:47:59,139
Turn on the automatic sprinklers you idiot.
Where's McKenzie?

1529
01:48:10,442 --> 01:48:11,735
Barry!

1530
01:48:12,987 --> 01:48:14,238
What's up, my lovely?

1531
01:48:14,321 --> 01:48:16,490
Cripes! Leave us alone
will you, mate?

1532
01:48:16,573 --> 01:48:20,703
I've just done something more than
a bit on the embarrassing side.

1533
01:48:20,786 --> 01:48:24,164
Fancy a bastard flashing the old
mutton dagger in mixed company!

1534
01:48:24,248 --> 01:48:27,626
You don't understand. I've got
the most fantastic news for you.

1535
01:48:27,710 --> 01:48:31,213
You've been offered your own series.
Series?

1536
01:48:31,296 --> 01:48:33,007
"Series" fiddlesticks!

1537
01:48:33,090 --> 01:48:35,801
I'll tell you what you're doing,
young feller my lad,

1538
01:48:35,884 --> 01:48:37,720
you're coming to Heathrow with
me

1539
01:48:37,803 --> 01:48:40,848
and I'm taking you back
to Sydney where you belong.

1540
01:48:43,058 --> 01:48:45,853
Come on, Barry. Hurry!

1541
01:48:45,936 --> 01:48:46,979
Ooohh!

1542
01:48:47,062 --> 01:48:48,480
See you, Les.

1543
01:48:48,564 --> 01:48:50,024
Barry!

1544
01:48:50,107 --> 01:48:52,109
Come on, Barry. Barry!

1545
01:48:52,192 --> 01:48:55,904
You wicked thing!
England isn't ready for you yet.

1546
01:48:55,988 --> 01:48:57,322
Hello, darling.

1547
01:48:57,406 --> 01:49:01,160
That's what you're doing,
you're spoiling our image,

1548
01:49:01,243 --> 01:49:03,454
you come along with me.

1549
01:49:15,174 --> 01:49:19,178
AL 33,000 feet as far as Turkey

1550
01:49:19,261 --> 01:49:23,474
'and then depending on the winds,
I may be able to go higher.

1551
01:49:23,557 --> 01:49:27,061
'After we cross over Istanbul,

1552
01:49:27,144 --> 01:49:30,397
"we proceed to Ankara,
the capital of Turkey,

1553
01:49:30,481 --> 01:49:33,734
"and then cross Iran to Tehran.

1554
01:49:33,817 --> 01:49:36,111
'The forecast for Tehran is cold

1555
01:49:36,195 --> 01:49:39,740
"and there is a forecast
of some shallow fog.'

1556
01:49:58,342 --> 01:50:02,638
You know, Auntie,
in a funny kind of way,

1557
01:50:02,721 --> 01:50:05,140
I was just starting
to like the poms.

1558
01:50:05,224 --> 01:50:09,353
ANGELIC CHOIR: ♪ Bar-ry... ♪

1559
01:50:09,436 --> 01:50:13,857
♪ McKen-zie! ♪

1560
01:50:13,941 --> 01:50:19,321
♪ The adventures of Barry
McKenzie ♪

1561
01:50:19,404 --> 01:50:24,118
♪ Dinky-di tales of a true blue
boy ♪

1562
01:50:24,201 --> 01:50:29,289
♪ Fresh from the shores of the
antipodes ♪

1563
01:50:29,373 --> 01:50:33,544
♪ Wafting the scent of the
eucalypt trees ♪

1564
01:50:33,627 --> 01:50:38,632
♪ If you wanna get your sister
in a frenzy ♪

1565
01:50:38,715 --> 01:50:44,179
♪ Introduce her to Barry
McKenzie ♪

1566
01:50:48,642 --> 01:50:51,228
♪ He's got a great big grin and
a great big chin ♪

1567
01:50:51,311 --> 01:50:53,730
♪ Give him half a chance,
he'll be in like Flynn ♪

1568
01:50:53,814 --> 01:50:58,152
♪ His great big fist
will flatten any pom. ♪

1569
01:50:58,235 --> 01:51:00,946
♪ He's got a great big thirst
You can do your worst ♪

1570
01:51:01,029 --> 01:51:03,323
♪ When they tap the keg
He'll be in there first ♪

1571
01:51:03,407 --> 01:51:05,826
♪ It's no use, mate
You'll never win ♪

1572
01:51:05,909 --> 01:51:10,122
♪ He's a better man than
you are, Gunga Din ♪

1573
01:51:10,205 --> 01:51:12,207
♪ Barry ♪

1574
01:51:12,291 --> 01:51:14,459
♪ Barry ♪

1575
01:51:14,543 --> 01:51:16,795
♪ Barry ♪

1576
01:51:16,879 --> 01:51:22,259
♪ The adventures of Barry
McKenzie ♪

1577
01:51:22,342 --> 01:51:27,264
<i>♪ Dinky-di tales of a bonza boy
♪</i>

1578
01:51:27,347 --> 01:51:32,102
♪ Lonely and lost in the land of
the pom ♪

1579
01:51:32,186 --> 01:51:36,231
♪ Wishing to hell
he was where he was from ♪

1580
01:51:36,315 --> 01:51:41,028
♪ From the team that brought
you Sir Robert Menzies ♪

1581
01:51:41,111 --> 01:51:46,617
♪ The Adventures of Barry
McKenzie ♪

1582
01:51:51,038 --> 01:51:53,498
♪ He's got a big brown hat
and an Earl's Court flat ♪

1583
01:51:53,582 --> 01:51:55,709
♪ And a knack to show the poms
where Bondi's at ♪

1584
01:51:55,792 --> 01:52:00,380
♪ And he rushes in
where angels fear to go ♪

1585
01:52:00,464 --> 01:52:03,050
♪ He can sink a beer...
He can pick a queer... ♪

1586
01:52:03,133 --> 01:52:05,552
♪ In his latest Aussie double
breasted gear ♪

1587
01:52:05,636 --> 01:52:08,096
♪ He's a handsome wild colonial
man ♪

1588
01:52:08,180 --> 01:52:11,266
♪ He can beat the bloody world
of Genghis Khan ♪

1589
01:52:12,226 --> 01:52:14,686
♪ Barry... ♪

1590
01:52:14,770 --> 01:52:17,272
♪ Barry... ♪

1591
01:52:17,356 --> 01:52:21,443
♪ Barry McKenzie! ♪

1592
01:52:21,526 --> 01:52:26,949
♪ The adventures of Barry
McKenzie ♪

1593
01:52:27,032 --> 01:52:31,745
♪ Dinky-di tales of a true blue
boy ♪

1594
01:52:31,828 --> 01:52:36,917
♪ Fresh from the shores of the
antipodes ♪

1595
01:52:37,000 --> 01:52:42,381
♪ Wafting the scent of the
eucalypt trees ♪

1596
01:52:42,464 --> 01:52:47,219
♪ From the land that's got the
whole world green with envy ♪

1597
01:52:47,302 --> 01:52:52,766
♪ The Adventures of Barry
McKenzie ♪

1598
01:52:52,849 --> 01:52:58,146
♪ Barry... ♪

1599
01:52:58,230 --> 01:53:00,774
♪ Barry... ♪

1600
01:53:00,857 --> 01:53:08,782
♪ Barry McKenzie! ♪